Trying to Reconcile

One of the things I have spent quite a bit of time on this summer (other than the house) is VBS in McLaughlin, SD.  I have traveled with various teams of people from my church the last 3 Thursdays to present VBS on the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation at a church called Freedom Fellowship. 

The basic "program" is simple.  Drive to McLaughlin.  Make lunch. Clear the sanctuary.  Set up tables for lunch.  Prepare a lesson.  Practice music.  Clean up here and there.  Send out vans to pick up kids.  Love them.  Feed them.  Teach them.  Play with them.  Create with them. Drive them home with a lunch sack filed with healthy snacks.  Clean up some more.  Stop at the gas station for a soda.  Drive home.

I have done quite a bit of children's ministry in my day, so being in charge of curriculum for this event did not phase me one bit.

But, it should have!

You see what I did not realize is that the approach I have ALWAYS used in children's ministry (and it has worked) was to assume all the kids came into the room knowing certain things.  Simple things like - the Bible is truth,  God made them, God loves them, etc...  I have also always been ministering to kids who are having all their needs met.  Some have more than others, but the kids that I have worked with in the past have all eaten before they arrive.  They have clean hair and clean faces.  Someone drops them off, making sure they arrive safely.  Someone picks them up.  They feel loved and cherished by someone in their life.

For "those" kids it is easy to happily proclaim scripture like "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  (Which just happens to be the central scripture from the VBS curriculum we had planned on reusing in McLaughlin.)  It is also easy for our white, middle-class, North Dakota kids to believe.  The things that they are taught are basic needs - food, shelter, and clothing - are plentiful.

However, as I tried to prepare that same lesson for the kids in McLaughlin, my stomach hurt for days.  How do I cheerfully tell kids who are not having their "basic needs" met consistently that God will meet all their needs?  It IS scripture.  Scripture IS truth.  Yet sometimes it is all so terribly difficult to comprehend.  Does God really meet all our needs when there are Christians dying of starvation each and every day?  Does God really meet all our needs when momma's don't have medicine for their sick babies?  Does God really meet all our needs when their is no water for miles?

I am still wrestling with all that - trying to reconcile in my mind and heart the Truth within the scripture alongside the unfairness I see in the world.  It is hard. 

I hate hurt.
I hate when children are hungry.
I hate more when children are abused, neglected, and unloved.

I DO NOT understand why God allows it. 

I DO KNOW that He sent Jesus because of it.

If there were no pain, no hurt, no sin - there would be no need for Jesus.  We could "save" ourselves.

It is the sin, the hurt, the pain, the brokenness that causes us many times to realize our need and beg for help.

And Jesus is always with us.  When we ask, He helps.  Sometimes He rushes in and fixes things in a mighty miracle moment, sometimes the fix is nearly unbearable slow as inch by inch His path becomes clear.  But always.  Always! He is with us.

I still do not have that verse fully reconciled. I continue to struggle.  A lot.  There is so much that I do not understand. (and I really HATE not understanding)

But, what I have decided is that our greatest need is to know Jesus.  So while I do not have many other answers, I WILL do my best to show the love of Jesus to everyone I can. (And to choose curriculum that is

I am going to close with a couple of photos of my kids.  Sierra and Jamison have been going with me on these mini missions.  I am so proud of them.  They know just what to do to help out - bags made (check), tables set up (check), chairs moved (check), play with the kids (check), pretend to LOVE the music, games, and crafts (check), show kids LOVE, LOVE, LOVE - even when they are too clingy, or need a bath or say unkind things (check, check, check).

 This beautiful girl was totally attcahed to Jamison.

He did not get out of her reach all day.

And rather than hide in the bathroom (smile), he treated her like gold.

He listened to her words, praised her art, and allowed her to sit really, really close.

And Sierra - she is all sweetness, grace, and energy.

She does such a good job drawing kids out of their shyness and into whatever we are doing.

She loves to play, encourage, and be silly.



I have served with a team of many, many, many other people as well.  I see Jesus in each of them each week.  Whether they are coloring pictures, serving food, wiping tables, cleaning cupboards, vacuuming floors, handing out hugs, removing gum from hair, driving the bus, or playing a game - Jesus is shining through.  I am so thankful for the talents, gifts, and willingness in which each of them have served!  Each servant has inspired me, taught me, grown me.  I am truly honored to serve with you.

Construction Update: Insulation Complete!

I gotta tell you.  It was a HARD week.  It was so, so, so hot.  We had so, so, so much work to do.  It was miserable.  By Friday mid-morning this mother of 5 was throwing a fit any toddler would be proud to copy.  I was feeling quite a lot sorry for myself.  "It" was just too much.  5 kids.  2 jobs. Living in a parking lot. 3 minute showers. Playing construction worker in every spare minute.  Trips to the dentist.  Broken Brenna.  Hot.  Really, really hot!  I told Chad in no uncertain terms that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER insulate anything again AND that we will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER build another house.

That confession in place, let me show you what we accomplished this week.

One thing I can not complain about is the number of people working on our home.

One day last week, concrete was being poured, sheetrock wass being unloaded, siding was being hung, plumbing was being installed, electrical wires were being strung, and framing was being fine-tunes. . . all at the same time! 

 Siding has begun.

I am normally very decisive, but siding color had me a bit stumped.

I am thrilled with what we chose!  It compliments the shingles and copper accents beautifully.

 Concrete was poured under the front porch.

Chad and I and the older 3 kids, formed the sidewalk.

The guys will pour it next week.

 Here is Miss Sierra pounding in a stake in the nearly 100* heat.

Yuck!

 Chad and Jay are working on leveling the form boards and nailing them in place.

I know I keep saying it, but Jamison has been unbelievable during this process.

I am so thankful for his hard work!

 The big 3!

 Modeling the new sunglasses Krissy bought.

(This photo was obviously taken early in the week, before my melt down!  No one near me was smiling on Friday.)

 Here is what I spent way too much time up close and personal with this week - INSULATION.

Itchy, scratchy, yucky! yucky! insulation.

The good thing about insulation is that it is light and easy to cut, which makes it a perfect job for a weak, unskilled laborer such as myself.  The bad thing is that it is so itchy (yes, I know I have mentioned that)!  The itchy is so much worse in the heat.  The insulation just sticks to a sweaty body, and in order to not go bonkers, one must wear long sleeves, gloves, and long pants.  The exact attire that makes you sweat even more in the 100* heat.  It was a nasty combination.

I did learn to run the lift though.

 Check me out way up high, working away!

If I had not hated it so much I might be proud. . .

 It was a week for thankless jobs.

Sierra and Krissy were put on garbage patrol.  They spent hours cleaning up construction mess and sweeping up after all the subs in preparation for the sheetrockers.

 And Joshua?

That little honey can keep himself busy forever on a job site.

He is thrilled to find a tool to experiment with.

Although I had a hard time seeing them, there were many blessings bestowed upon us this week:

Blessing #1 - Meals!  My mom cooked for us several nights and delivered food to the house.  My Aunt Pat also brought us a meal. My friend Sharlene delivered washed and cut up fresh fruit! That helped me an immeasurable amount.

Blessing #2 - The sheetrocker asked to delay his start by a couple of days.  Usually a delay is not good, but in this case it was such a blessing!  The heat caused all the subs to work more slowly than usual.  It was so miserable they just could not move at their usual pace.  We were incredible short on time to insulate.  Honestly, we never could have been done by Thursday - but we did not want to cause a delay and be at the sheetrockers mercy.  So , when he asked for a couple days delay, it was such a blessing!

Blessing #3 - My Aunt Pat drove to town to help me choose paint colors.  My brain is too full to tune into tiny details.  I knew what I wanted, but choosing the exact hues was just beyond my capabilities.  She saved the day, for sure.  And it was so fun to be with her!  Fun has been in low supply around here, so I appreciated the outing more than you can imagine!

Blessing #4 - I took a real shower today for the first time in 27 days.  It was glorious.  I also used my mom's washer and dryer.  I have a washer at the shop, cold water only.  I have been drying on racks in the parking lot.  It works.  But soft instead of crunchy clothes is a treat! (Several people have offered to wash clothes for me as well.  I am just really bad at shipping my stinky stuff off to someone else's home!  And the shop washer is working well for the most part - but warm water and dryer sheets were a treat today!)

Blessing #5 -  Chad had his employees help us with the worst insulating jobs on Friday morning.  We both went in at 6am and worked with the crew.  The guys hung all the insulation on the ceilings, which was such a blessing.  One of the guys volunteered to stick around and help all day.  (They get off at noon on Friday.)

Blessing #6 - BUT without a doubt, the BIGGEST BLESSING of the week, came in the form of our friends!

 These two made my week when they walked into our house today!

Just when I was ready to collapse, they arrived infused with hope.

They worked for hours hanging plastic over the insulation!

(Quick explanation as to why we have been insulating for an eternity:  Step one was pink foam cut and placed between all the studs and spray foamed into place, Step two was caulking all the cracks in the framing - like between the concrete floor and the studs, Step three was itchy insulation, step four was the plastic barrier, Step five was insulating the interior walls for soundproofing.  That mini lesson is more than I have ever wanted to know about insulation!)

 Here is a sampling of Tom and Brad's work.  The family room (as well as many others) is wrapped in plastic, cleaned, and ready to 'rock.  It was beyond encouraging to have you helping today. 

 Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 Pictured above is the sound proofing insulation.

Jamison and I spent hours and hours hanging this stuff during the last two days!

However,

Blessing # 7 - We are done!!!!!!!!! The house is ready for the 'rockers arrival on Monday.  I have never been so happy to be done with a job.  Never.

Blessing #8 - My friend Sharlene.

I ran my tail off this week.  I worked at both of my  jobs. I spent a day in SD with a team from our church loving on kids at a VBS outreach.  I worked at the house.  I met with subcontractors.  I chose paint colors, and stain, and counter top, and glass, and carpet.  I tried to cook some and do a bit of laundry.  I was insanely busy, and consequently a terrible mom.

But Sharlene came to my rescue.  She had the week off and spent it doting on my kids.  They swam, they played mini-golf, they found kittens to cuddle, they went out to eat.  In short, they had fun.  More importantly they had someone show lavished love and attention on them when mom was crazed.

I am forever grateful.

Blessing # 9 - Brenna and Joshua are both pain free!  When Joshua's tooth was removed the pain was as well.  Brenna is still very bruised.  She needs to wear the sling most of the time until she sees the doctor on August 6, but she has not needed any pain medication in 30 hours.

Blessing #10 - Tomorrow I get spend the day celebrating the upcoming birth of my nephew.

It was a hard week.  I have no intention of ever repeating it.  But were it not for the many blessings in our life, it would have been so much worse.

Next week in construction - sheetrockers Monday, Taper Thursday, Siding continues, Concrete continues. . . (and none of it will be done by me!  happy sigh!)

Extracted

Finally, after two weeks of phone calls and prescriptions, Joshua saw a dentist today.

The dentist took one peak in his mouth and understood just what the last 2 weeks have been like for our little man.  He quickly decided to break his own rule of never treating a patient on the first visit and immediately extract the troublesome tooth.

Joshua and I were both relieved.

Little Mr. who has struggled with fear of medical was SO tired of having a sore tooth that he happily slipped on the "space mask."  He quite honesty did not care what the dentist did as long as it made his tooth stop hurting!

He was a star patient.   He kept asking me to touch his hands so I could see how they feel.  The laughing gas made his hands feel "like balloons," and Joshua could not understand why I could not notice the difference.  It took A LOT of Novocain to numb him up - like more than 6 syringes full.  The tooth was really infected and according to the dentist that makes the nerves all the more sensitive which means all the more Novocain.  Although Joshua had already been on antibiotics for 10 days, the tooth was still visibly infected.  (Super YUCK!)

But once he was good and numb he hardly flinched when the dentist pulled out the biggest baby tooth I have ever seen. It was truly 3/4 of an inch long.  I had no idea the roots of baby teeth were so huge.   Some days mom's should get a good patient award.  Calmly holding Joshua's hand with a serene look on my face while watching the dentist pull this molar was as close as I will ever get to an Emmy award winning performance.

Joshua was a bit miserable as the Novocain wore off, but by evening he was all smiles.  His mouth is finally NOT hurting. 

I am SO thankful that is OVER!

Construction Update: Insulating Sucks!

Jamison's facebook status this afternoon was "Insulating Sucks!"

I'm not gonna lie.  He is correct.

It is crazy hot outside.  Miserable.  And we spent the afternoon cutting itchy, scratchy insulation and stuffing it in between studs at the house.  It was not any fun.

 This is the pile of insulation that needs to be installed.

 This is my wise and ever-helpful son.

He may have correctly posted that this job stunk, but he NEVER complained while on the job.

Once again, I am not gonna lie.

For the first time while working on the house, I did complain.

I decided that in hell everyone must be insulating because it was about the most miserable job I have had in a loooong time.

Jay took it "like a man."

I am humbled by his example.

 The older girls worked as well.

And Joshua.

Little man is always trying to find a way to help.

 While we used the icky, scratchy stuff - Chad ran the spray foam gun.

 Spray foam may not be itchy, but you need a respirator to spray it.

He also had to climb into small spaces and reach into tiny crevices.

His sweaty shirt bears witness to the heat.

I was npt loving my job, but I was certainly not jealous of his.

We also had our first construction volunteer wander onto the job site!

Dennis braved the heat and surprised us with a few much appreciated volunteer hours this afternoon.

Thank you, Dennis!

 Even on the hottest and most miserable of days there is always some fun on our job site.

Joshua proved his skills with the scissor lift, by taking himself on many rides up and down, just for fun!  (He also ran the lift for Daddy when needed.  He is truly amazing with construction equipment.)

 The oldest three could not let Gubs have all the fun!

They joined him  in the lift for a ride or two.

The kids (especially Joshua) had a bit of fun washing the itchies off with the hose.
We were VERY thankful for the well this weekend!

Grandma Donna provided the best part of the day, supper!

We have been eating on the run almost all the time lately, so Grandma cooked food is THE BEST.  In fact the kids talked her into delivering supper tomorrow night as well.  Because like it or not, The Dietrich Construction crew will be back on the job tomorrow evening.  We are trying our hardest to have everything in place so sheetrock can begin on Thursday as scheduled, so it will be a FULL week of work in the day and construction in the evenings.

I am thankful tonight for meals delivered, hard-working kids, helpful friends,a safe & fun placde for Brenna this afternoon, fresh fruit in my fridge, showers, and an air conditioned camper.

Construction Update: Windows, Wiring, Plumbing, & Heating!

It was a very exciting week in our home building process.

 All the windows (except the ones still on order) were installed!

Brenna's bedroom was the first one done!

 The plumbing rough-in was completed and passed inspection.

Sierra can hardly wait to have a full size tub filled with water again!

 The electrical rough-in has begun.

I am so thrilled with the electricians.

They have been incredible to work with.

 Heating rough-in is also complete.

The exterior of the house has been wrapped and is waiting for the siding to arrive on Tuesday!

The most exciting developments this week involve my cabinets.  We met with the cabinet builder several times, and he has transformed my kitchen from ho-hum to fabulous.  I am beyond thrilled with the changes he suggested.  He plans to begin building them next week, and I can not wait to see the results! 

The end of next week the sheetrockers are scheduled to begin.  I am told they need 3 days.  The taper claims he will be done in 5 days, so I will be painting in NO time!

This weekend Chad and the kids are working hard on getting the exterior walls caulked, insulated, and ready for the 'rockers.  We also have garage doors and exterior walk doors to install, so there is no shortage of work! 

Brenna and Joshua and I spent the afternoon at my mom and dad's house.  Grandpa Scott felt so sorry for Brenna that he went and injured himself too.  On the very same day, Brenna broke her clavicle and Grandpa sererated his AC joint (shoulder).  It was one stinky Friday the 13th!

I am hoping that Brenna will be up to me leaving her for a bit tomorrow so that I can help the Dietrich construction crew, but today neither of us were ready to be apart!  She is doing MUCH better today.  The pain meds helped her sleep well last night.  Today she is figuring out how to do more and more on her own.  She is a strong, brave, independent girl.

Freaky Fridays

Typically I look forward to Friday.

I have the day off, so it is supposed to be a catch-up day.  I plan on buying groceries, doing laundry, and getting ready to work hard on the house all weekend long.

But the last two Fridays have left much to be desired!

 I had known in advance that today would not be a relaxing Friday.  I had to work at both jobs.  I had a work related meeting scheduled.  I was also planning on meeting Chad and choosing counter top and the glass for our kitchen cabinets, buying groceries, and working some on the house.

The morning started as planned.  I got payroll completed.  I got several errands taken care of for my church job.  I got to my business meeting.

And then Chad's mom called.

You know how you know that something is wrong.

Something was wrong.

Brenna had been allowed to ride a mini motorcycle.  It did not go well.  She wiped out, and her collar bone was swelling.  Grammy thought we should have it checked.

So off to the ER I went.

My mom works in radiology at the hospital, so I called her to warn her her granddaughter was on the way there.  She met me at the door.  I was so thankful!  I learned today that the only thing worse than having your child get hurt, is not being with your hurt child.

We got her right into x-ray.

Her clavicle was clearly broken.  Broken enough to make the ER doc say "oooooh."

So, a shot of morphine followed.  Then a sling.  Then an afternoon on the couch making sure ice stays in place and meds are promptly given.

She has been brave.

But she hurts.

She sits as still as a statue, asking for help for the simplest of movements.

I hate when my kids hurt.  My own pain, I tolerate well.  Their pain gives me a stomach ache.

Last Friday was freakily similar.

Joshua had been struggling with a tooth ache for a few days.  Because of the fourth of July holiday, I could not find a dentist to see him.  By Thursday afternoon his pain was terrible.  I called my dentist at home and he prescribed pain meds and an antibiotic over phone.  "That would fix it."

Friday morning he woke up ridiculously swollen and very uncomfortable.

Throughout the day he got a bit better and eventually played some.

But by Sunday morning the swelling was increasing instead of decreasing; so, long story short, we got the correct antibiotic, dosed for a child Joshua's size on Sunday morning through the walk-in clinic.

This coming Monday, we will finally see a dentist.

I am (fortunately) not used to sick or injured children.  And having sick/injured kids in our tiny space is challenging.  Also challenging is NEEDING to help Chad work on the house AND also NEEDING to sit on the couch next to my baby.  

Yet both of these experiences have made me realize once again how very fortunate I am.  I have access to medical care.  I am able to pay for the medicine my children need in order to feel better.  I can not imagine living somewhere where medical treatment was not available - or having medicine be a financial impossibility. 

Truly, I CAN NOT IMAGINE. 

When one of my kids says "OW"! I do everything in my power to fix it.

So do third world mommas.

But third world mommas often have nothing to offer but prayers and snuggles.

In Ethiopia, Joshua's tooth infection could have killed him.  It happened all the time.

Dead because of a rotten tooth.

And the thought of Brenna's collar bone without morphine, ibuprofen, ice and prescription pain killers brings tears to my eyes as well.  It may not kill her, but the pain would be so terrible.

So though I am tired of trauma, tired of setting my alarm so kids get meds on time, tired of trying to decide between rocking my child or helping my husband - I am thankful.  Thankful for ice.  Thankful for antibiotics.  Thankful for pain meds.  Thankful for medical workers.  Thankful for friends that answer my questions.  Thankful that though my children have been ill/hurt they are OK and I am able to provide for each of their needs.

Please pray for Joshua's dentist appointment on Monday.  He has come a loooooong way, but medical is still scary to him.

Also pray for Brenna.  It is going to be a bummer of a summer with a splinted arm.  Pray for quick healing and managed pain.

Pray for Chad.  We have a boatload of work to get done on the house this HOT weekend, and it looks like he will be 1.5 crew members short!

Lastly, pray a bubble of protection over our family.  NO MORE injuries!  NO MORE sickness!

She's 16 Today!

Krissy turned 16 today.

16!

How did that happen?

 She hates pictures, and she hates attention being lavished upon her.

So she will probably hate this post!
But toddler or not, she needs to know that I adore her.

I appreciate her.

I count on her for so much.

I am so proud of her.

Since we are a bit cramped for space at the moment,

 we chose to have a small dinner party at the restaurant of her choice.

She chose Red Lobster.

Austin and her grandparents joined us.

(yes, she is purposely avoiding the photo)

 After dinner we went to check on the house.

(Notice windows in the background!)

She opened her gifts in our "sitting room."

(Indulge me in a trip down memory lane here... When Krissy was 2, we celebrated her birthday in our first home.  It was OLD - built in 1887.  It needed an incredible amount of work.  And it was STINKY!  When we showed it to 2-year-old Krissy, she said "It pretty yucky but my daddy can fix it!  14 years later we celebrate her birthday in yet another house that her daddy will fix!)

 While the rest of us wandered around the house checking out the day's progress (tubs! windows! heating work!), Krissy and Austin disappeared to the roof.

And not too much later, they left the party.

(with permission, of course)

She's 16 years old, a junior in high school,

and she came home tonight (promptly at 9:30) with her first roses from someone other than her daddy.

I don't even have words.

Watching this girl grow has been the most amazing blessing and honor.

I have enjoyed every age and every stage.

I am so very thankful that God chose me to be her mom.

So thankful.