I spent weeks planning systems that would best equip us to meet this goal. I created nametags that had the child's name along with their sponsor's name, so that when we played with a child we would realize the whole time to whom they "belonged." I created a journal that included each child's picture, name, age, and sponsor's name. Each day we tried to write down any thing we could remember about each of the children so that we could share memories with their sponsors. We planned a way for the children to create gifts for their sponsor family. We worked to organize a gift to each child from their sponsor, trying our best to get each child a photo of their sponsor. While in country, I took photo after photo after photo, in the hopes of capturing the spirit of each child for their American family. As I played with children I always asked their names, working hard to memorize them, so that the child would know they mattered to me.
Each member of our team had a list of specific kids they were supposed to find, and it was really cool how God connected us with the kids on our list. The day we gave gifts, I "happened" to sit down just in time to give gifts to several of the children whose sponsors had asked me to find them, hug them, tell they are beautiful and loved. It was really awesome!
That said - I went to Ethiopia fully prepared to have children bond with me. What I had not given a lot of thought to was the fact that I would also bond with them.
Desaleng changed all that.
This is Desaleng.
He is the sponsor son of my parents. I blogged earlier this week about how he told me that my mom was his mom. He claimed her, in a beautiful way all week. He knew she was in his corner. She was supporting him. And because I am lucky enough to be her daughter, Desaleng deemed me his sister. He was the only child at Jemo that learned to say my name. And when he said it, it melted me. Especially because what he said first was, "A-lee-cee-ah, you are my seester, no?"
Little did he know when I hugged him and said, "YES! I am your sister!" that I had always wanted more siblings!
Tuesday, the third day we were at Jemo, was the most difficult and emotional for me. Partially because that was the day I was a part of a home visit to Desaleng's house.
I had gone on a home visit the day before, so I did not expect to go with my mom to meet Desaleng's family. However, when departure time came, there was an empty spot on her team so I tagged along. It was not totally fair that I was able to go two days in a row, but I am sure glad I was!
Desaleng's home is a very short walk from Jemo. The compound in which he lives has a fairly large courtyard. The first thing I noticed was a cat wandering around. My mom hates cats, so I had to chuckle inwardly that there was a cat on patrol.
Going on home visits is always a bit overwhelming. I wanted to pause and take everything in. The homes are so different than ours, so it takes a minute to get your bearings upon walking into a courtyard. Yet, pausing and gawking seems rude - so I tended to keep walking and ended up feeling a bit disoriented.
This is Desaleng inside his home.
His home was larger than some we were in, but not the largest. It was probably about the size of a King size bed, maybe slightly larger. It had a concrete floor, a twin size bed with some sort of a mattress made from stuffed rice or coffee bags. There were a couple of benches, a curtain that pulled down in front of the bed, a small low table. In one corner there was a basket full of injera, which Desaleng's mother had made just that morning.
Desaleng, his mother, and 2 of his siblings share this home. Desaleng and his brother, Gebeyehu, share the bed. We assume his mother and sister sleep on the floor. All three children are able to attend school, which is a 15 minute walk from their home. Desaleng, is the oldest, and takes care of the younger kids on the way to and from school. Desaleng also has an older brother. He is in the countryside working, caring for 4 children after his father died was too much for Desaleng's mother.
Desaleng was thrilled to have his (sponsor) mom at his home.
His mother, was very emotional. Shee kissed each of us profusely on each cheek in a traditional Ethiopian greeting. Then she sat for a moment and tried to visit with us. Before long she bolted from the small home, explaining that we all smelled so good and after making injera all morning, she must be so stinky to us. Fikre told her that we were not offended and coaxed her back into the room.
When she sat back down Fikre asked her if there was anything she wanted to say to us. She took a breath and started talking in rapid and heartfelt Amharic. When she paused, Firke said, "Oh my. She is very emotional. She says thank you. The injera I make this morning is because of you. For a long time I felt like I would not make it, but then God sent you. Now a new time is coming and I have hope."
As my brain is trying to accept the fact that my mom and dad's $35 a month commitment could actually give this hard-working mother of four hope, she came forward on her hands and knees and kissed my mothers feet. Then she tried to kiss my feet and my husbands. We each told her, "No! No!" But her gratitude was so deep, she could not contain herself.
She then pointed to the 5 litre bottle of oil we had brought as a gift. She said, "Thank you! I will be very careful with this oil. I will use it very wisely. I will make sure it lasts my family for 2 months."
(Ethiopian cooks use oil in their wats. A traditional meal is wat (stew of some sort) and injera. Wat can contain any number of ingredients and spices - lentils, veggies, or meats. Oil is the ingredient that is always needed to make it.)
Then it was Desaleng's turn to talk. (As if it could get any more emotional!) He was sitting right next to my mom. He looked at her and said, "Thanks to my mom, I go to school. And I have new shoes. Thank you." And then he gave her a big hug.
We spent a few more minutes with the family. We told Desalang's mother that we thought she was doing an amazing job parenting Desaleng. We raved about what a kind, respectful boy he was. We also told her how impressed we were with his English speaking, and that we knew he was very smart. She smiled proudly.
After chatting about more mundane things for a few minutes, my emotions felt more in check, so I asked if we could pray for the family. I have no idea what I prayed, but hovering in a circle holding hands with my husband, mother, Desaleng, and his mom was among the holiest moments of my life.
After chatting about more mundane things for a few minutes, my emotions felt more in check, so I asked if we could pray for the family. I have no idea what I prayed, but hovering in a circle holding hands with my husband, mother, Desaleng, and his mom was among the holiest moments of my life.
Before we left the home, we snapped a picture of our new family, because in that 15 minute visit a family was formed.
In Desaleng's heart it was formed the minute he met his (sponsor) mom. For me it took a little longer - I tend to be slow that way. But after being so graciously loved and received by Desaleng and his mother, I am forever changed. He is most certainly my brother, and I am a very proud "seester."
My beautiful momma and my equally beautiful little brother.
Sometimes living in the land of plenty, it is hard to imagine that sponsorship can really make a difference in the life of a family half a world away. Does the money even matter? And the letters? Do the kids even get them? If they do get them, do they even care? After all what can we possibly have in common?
I am here to tell you that the money matters. Desaleng's mother's testimony is proof of that.
And the letters are treasures! I saw kids with crumbled up letters clutched in their hands. They love knowing they have someone special on their side - loving them, praying for them. They understand that sponsorship makes things a bit easier for their family. They long to know us.
Sponsors, thank you! You are truly changing the world.
I encourage you today to write to your kids. Short letters are best. Write 5 sentences. Keep it simple. The older kids will be able to read the English themselves! Imagine how proud they will be! Send photos every time. Steal photos from myFaceBook albums and email a photo of your child to him or her! That will be a special treat as they do not have photos of themselves. Make sure they have a photo of you. They want that so badly!
All letters that are emailed are delivered within the month. If you mail things to the Colorado office, that takes longer. They send those mailings with traveling teams. When they get to Ethiopia they are sorted and sent to the carepoints. It is slower, but I would still recommend sending a card, or a lamanited photo, or a poster to hang on their wall, or stickers through the Colorade office a couple times a year. Encourage the kids to study hard. Send them bits of scripture. Write a prayer of blessing.
Be available.
Form a relationship.
Love big.
You will be surprised at how you will be changed in return.
(Tuesday was far from over after our visit with Desaleng, but I will save the rest for another day.)
