Mataya thrives as the baby, baby of this clan. She is NOT in a hurry to do much of anything (and that thrills me); however, in the last few weeks, Mataya Hope has become a "little big girl!" All the newborn gear has been packed away, and "big girl" stuff has taken it's place.
Although momma still uses the boppie, Mataya hardly needs it. She is stronger and sitting longer daily.
.
Mataya has mastered the paci at last! Getting her "BFF" back into her sweet little mouth is not longer something she needs us to help with.
Mataya has been BEGGING for food for at least a month. When we eat she gets so excited. She wiggles and squeals begging for a taste - but when we give her food. . . she gags. I was nearly convinced that she had some sort of sensory disorder, and then it "disappeared." She is NOW loving food. Graham crackers, frozen peas, white beans are her favorite finger foods. She loves everything mashed that I have given her lately. I am loving making her baby food. The produce aisle has so many more fresh options than when the older kids were babies. Squash, sweet potatoes, mango, bananas, carrots, etc. . . have brought a big smile to her face. And the baby "mmmmmmm" when she loves something melts my heart.
Last weekend Brenna took her swimming.
(with our supervision, of course)
In typical Dietrich fashion, she preferred the hot tub.
(No! It was not too hot!)
My momma hack of the week was putting Mataya and her toys in a laundry hamper to play. The hamper gave her a bit of extra support, plus her toys could not get too far away. It worked AWESOME and helped me meet my work deadline while keeping my Tata happy!
The baby bath sling is long gone. It has been replaced by this seat. She loves the deeper water. . . especially when I turn on the bubbles. She IS her daddy's daughter.
AND she now has "hops!" She has figured out, at long last, how to jump and jump in the "baby circus."
I know I keep saying it, but having a baby in our home is like a total miracle. I just LOVE it. She brings joy and peace and simplicity. Her squishable self snuggling in makes my heart sigh.
Babies always have, and always will, affect me this way. However at this point in our family the simplicity of a baby is so soothing to my mommy heart. So many of our kids have BIG problems. Older kids are so wonderful. I enjoy my adult and nearly-adult kids more than I can explain. At the same time this phase of parenting is particularly helpless. I am a fixer. BUT fixing, is no longer my job. Listening, and occasionally and very carefully advising, is. Watch the big kids wrestle with BIG issues is very, very hard for me. Sometimes, I wish they would just do it my way while recognizing they have every right to try their own system. Sometimes, I do not have answers only empathy. Sometimes, I have the answer. . . for sure. . . but it is not my place to supply it.
Sigh.
It is HARD people.
Launching my kids is harder than I ever, ever expected.
And God knew just how hard it would be for me.
I just know He did.
And so He sent me Mataya.
Although I need to give my big kids more and more "rope," with Mataya problems are mine to solve. And they are SO easy. A snuggle, a pacifier, a silly song, dancing around the kitchen, a bath, etc. . . all make every better. I can fix it. Better yet, it is my job to fix it!
I truly do not want to baby my big kids. I truly want to launch them well. I want to let-go appropriately. And (for the most part) they are ready. They are equipped. They will be fine.
So will I.
And while the day will come when Chad and I celebrate an empty nest with joy, we also celebrate that it will be a looooong time. For me, the baby mixed with the teens is a gift. It makes me more balanced rather than less. It makes me appreciate so many things about each age and stage.
I marvel at it all often.
When Chad and I discussed another baby, even we thought we were crazy. It was scary considering "starting over" again. It seemed like a big risk. But it also seemed marvelous and right.
It is.
Mataya's pregnancy rebirthed hope in my soul.
Mataya's birth brought me back home.
I could not be parenting my big kids the way they (and I) need if I were working more. I would not have the time or the emotional energy to do them justice. Yet without Mataya, I would not have had the courage to take the stand I have.
God's plan is an amazing thing.
Much remains a mystery, but the there are also so many pieces that fit together in a "coincidental" design that only God could create. I am so grateful for His plan.
I am so grateful for His gifts.
I am so grateful for His energy.
For His focus.
For His blessing.
For His direction.
This "little big girl" is a precious example of just how much He loves me, just how well He knows me, and just how much He trusts me.
Thankfully this little big girl continues to love her snuggles.
I will never grow weary of how she instantly relaxes when her little ear is over my heart. The small. The simple. They are powerful and sweet.
I will never grow weary of how she instantly relaxes when her little ear is over my heart. The small. The simple. They are powerful and sweet.
And fleeting.
So I am savoring every minute with my hands and heart open. . .
Hanging on loosely so as to enjoy and appreciate every minute, while being ready to let go and cheer as she (and all of her siblings) are ready to move on to the next skill.
Where I, perhaps, pushed my oldest kids just a bit, out of my own excitement to see what was around the next bend; with this one I savor. Stop rushing mommas. Parenting is not a race. Preschool by 3, Kindergarten at 5, soccer and gymnastics at 4, etc, etc, etc. . . Stop! Slow down. Breathe. And allow your kids to do the same. Follow their lead - not that of society. A year seems huge sometimes. . . in the moment. But ONLY in the moment. Moments are long, yet years pass quickly. Savor the moment and you will savor the years. Allow your kids to do the same. Sometimes even "smart" kids need to wait a year for Kindergarten. Sometimes even "athletic" kids need to play at the park instead of at soccer practice. While when they are tiny you may wonder if you will EVER get to go to the bathroom alone again, they won't want YOU every minute forever.
Trust me.
I'm parenting kids at nearly every age and stage.
Every age is good.
Every stage is precious.
Every day is hard.
And ALL are worth it.
