The Beginning Is Always the Hardest (or so I hope!)

 Want to see her owie?

 I wrote that "yes."  I feel a sickness in my gut every time I see it.  I stamped "yes" you can put my baby through this.  

 Here you can see the immobilizer.

She has to wear it 24/7.

 Another shot of her shoulder.

I keep remembering, these last days, that the first surgeon we saw told us that this was a tough surgery.  Because of how uncomfortable the surgery is and the long recovery time, he said he would not want to put his daughter through it.  He DID recommend we see the doc who specializes in it though.  Not being able to lift even a gallon of milk is rough, but. . . were his last words.

The specialist saw a patient he knew he could "fix."  He brushed over the "tough" and sold the finished product.  He was honest that recovery would be long. He did not deny the hard - but he was confident the result would be worth it. (The exact name for her surgery, for you medical type, is Arthorscopis anterior Bankert/capsular plication along with Arthroscopic Posterior Bankert and a labrum repair thrown in as a "bonus.")

While I do believe that Sierra made the right decision,

I DO!  I believe it 100%, remembering the caution from Dr #1 has helped us both feel less wimpy these last 5 days!

I expected rough, but it has been worse than I expected.
That is rare for me.  I usually over-prepare for bad stuff.

However, I think we are FINALLY on the road to recovery.

I think we finally have a pain med that is working. (Third time seems to have been the charm.)  Sierra is more comfortable at last.  Thank you, Lord.  She is still dizzy, but it keeps getting better.

She is the bravest, sweetest person I know.  Truly.  She tolerates pain with a rare grace.  I both love and hate that about her.  Sometimes I want her to yell and scream.  Watching her hold it all in hurts.  At the same time, I am in awe of her composure and maturity.  She is one special girl.

We left the house for the first time today.

She had PT

.
She was terrified, yet, as always, she carried herself with calm and peace.  She is very wobbly (as in I never let her go when she is standing, or trying to stand, or trying to sit), but she works through each step with cautious determination.  I am SO thankful for the relationship we have formed with her PT.  Charity knows her well.  She can read her face almost as well as I can.  She knows Sierra is tough, so when Sierra shows any sign of discomfort Charity backs off.  Today would NEVER have gone as well as it did with anyone else.  Sierra trusts Charity, so when Charity said she was going to manipulate Sierra's tender limb, Sierra was able to relax and allow it.  They were both amazing.

When we got back home, Sierra was almost too tired to walk.  Her knees were shaking.  We crept back into the house, and she was asleep before I even had her blankets arranged.

She is as brave as she is beautiful.

I could not respect her more.

The short term plan is for lots and lots of rest!  She will not return to school before April 7.  And if she needs more time, that's OK with me. 

The road to recovery has been rough so far, my love - but I DO believe the worst is over.

(Crazily enough, although Sierra has been through major trauma - it is Mataya who is fussy!  Mataya is so upset from her stuffy nose and teething pains you would think she has had major surgery.  Sierra and I jokingly agree that if Mataya ever has to have surgery we might just hide out in Hawaii.  Baby girl does NOT have her big sister's pain tolerance, that is for sure!  Ha!)

I am thankful today that all of these trials are temporary.  While, in this moment, I am tired and a bit overwhelmed, a week from now things will be looking much different.  And a year from now, God willing, Sierra will be in charge of her own milk!