For me, this has been so needed. I was in a funk. A bit depressed. A bit anxious. Fairly overwhelmed.
Where sometimes merely "counting my blessings" mentally can serve to refocus my nasty attitude, THIS time I needed to be much more intentional. I needed to recognize the amazing gifts that the Lord sprinkles into each day and grab onto them. Photography - even crummy cellphone snaps - solidify moments in my heart. Writing resets my mind. I made the choice to combine all three because I knew my heart needed me to be as thorough as possible.
31 days later, many of my life circumstances have not changed. BUT my heart has.
I am calmer.
More centered.
More intentional.
Certainly more grateful and less anxious.
There are still nights that I wake up trying to solve problems that are not mine to solve, however when those racing thoughts wake me, I am able to pray through them - consciously giving each item to the Lord. I am able to receive His comfort. I am able to praise Him in the storm.
My one concern with this exercise is that it may appear that my life is perfectly perfect. One thing I have always tried to be in this blog/journal is transparent. By exclusively sharing gratitude, I fear I am not giving an accurate assessment of my heart and life. My life is busy, noisy, and filled with hard choices and insecurities - just like yours. I am worried about the safety and salvation of my children, just like you. I am grieving the loss of dreams, just like you. I am trying to untangle financial situations, just like you. I am doubting parenting decisions, just like you. I am trying to fit healthy meals, clean toilets, exercise and laundry into the cracks of life, just like you. I am being stretched daily as God tries to shape me into a woman who looks just a tiny bit more like Him, just like you. And for me, setting a side just a few moments to celebrate small gifts is part of that process.
Some days praise and gratitude flow from my fingertips. Today, I dig deep. But it is always there. . .
Am I deeply grateful for thousands of much more important things? Sure. But after a crazy day of tantrums and tears, carpool lines and work deadlines - dark chocolate just feels the most honest.
Thank you God for all the big things. Truly. And thank You for hidden treasures, like dark chocolate and clean socks. Those little things bring balance and simple joy. Oh how You love me. Thank You. I humbly and ever so sincerely thank You.
