Week 4

This week is better.

Much better!

Mataya saw her doctor again on Tuesday, and he told me to just relax.  And I quote, "She is fine.  She is tiny - but just enjoy that she is staying little longer than usual."

So - I have officially chilled out.  She continues to put on weight very slowly.  She likes that half an ounce a day rate, but if the doctor is not worried, I am not either.

Daddy holding her shows her tiny-ness quite nicely!

She is up to a whole 7 lbs 2 oz, as of Tuesday.  So at 4 weeks, she is lighter than her oldest three siblings were at birth!  I had debated buying any newborn clothing, thinking it was a waste since she would only wear it for a week or so, in the end I could not resist!  It is a good thing too - she has worn newborn diapers and clothes for a month.

Her cord finally fell off!  And I was correct, she loves, loves, loves the bath.  I think she would fall asleep if I let her soak long enough.  She is not a fan of the lotion that follows.  It is cold, and warm and snuggly is more to her liking.

She is liking a pacifier more every day.  I am thinking a pacifier will make being away from me easier. . . if I ever decide to leave her that is.  I really struggle with leaving my babies.  So far I have no desire for her to be more than a few feet away from me, but I am supposed to go back to work in June. . .

Car trips are getting a bit less noisy.

Naps. . . well, they are longest when I hold her - but she likes the swing a little bit.

She is starting to be just the tiniest bit intrigued with toys.  Joshua is thrilled!

There is no way I can describe Joshua's adoration of this baby.

He loves her sooo much.

He waits and waits to hold her.

He is so proud to introduce her to his teachers and friends.

He loves to talk to her and try to play with her.

It drives me crazy sometimes.  If she is fussy, he wants to try and comfort her.  I know that being held by a six year old, will not help anything - but Chad has wisely encouraged me to just let him give her a quick squeeze.  (My knee-jerk reaction, is NO you can not hold her now!)  Why not foster his relationship with her rather than shooting him down, he asked.  Once again I am thankful for my husband.

Joshua is so proud of his baby skills.  I heard him say, "When Mataya is fussy only me and mom know what to do.  We are the experts!"

She does NOT like a lot of chaos.  Poor peanut - the youngest of 6 hates to be overstimulated - she will just have to adjust.  I am wondering how the weekend will go.  Usually she is CRANKY by Sunday afternoon from all the extra noise and activity.  This weekend we will have four days of it.  It might get a little noisy around here!

In other Dietrich news. . .

 Joshua is not the only one that adores Mataya.

Krissy has been known to say, "Let me have her." as well.

She and Mataya have a nap date almost every Saturday morning.

(Sierra tends to say, "I need some baby therapy!")

Krissy went to her Senior Prom over the weekend.

She colored her hair, added extensions, and styled it herself!

She did not get that from me. . . I can barely brush my hair by myself.

She looked lovely.

It was certainly a memorable night!

And today she (and Jamison) were inducted in the National Honor Society.

She will graduate with a GPA over 3.75 (thus the ropes).

She claims that is no big deal.

I disagree!

She is a smart cookie, that has worked very hard.

I am very proud of her.

And that very briefly sums up the last week.

Phew - I got it down before Mataya woke up!  I am getting better at working fast these days!

3 Weeks Old

I should have remembered. . . by week 3, I can no longer run on adrenaline.  Baby has "awakened" and is no longer content to sleep the day away.  My hormones go CRAZY.  And the rest of the world is ready for me to be back to a normal routine.

Week 3 with Mataya was rough.  It has been with all my babies. . .

I had my share of mommy meltdowns this last week - doubting my ability to care for her.  They started with a visit from the county nurse.  This is a standard visit, and I enjoyed meeting her.  She even has ties to Ethiopia!  She was full of lots of information, all was good. . . until she weighed Mataya.  When she weighed Mataya, we discovered she was only 6 lbs 12 oz.  Since she was born at 7 lbs, this was not good news.  At first I was not concerned.  All her patterns were normal.  She was waking herself to nurse at least every 3 hours.  She was not super fussy - except from 5 to 8 - but that is a common fussy time for babies.  She had (just barely) enough wet and poopy diapers every day.  She was fine. . . right?

She had an appointment to see the pediatrician in 6 days, so the nurse and I agreed to keep on doing what I was doing.

I felt good about that. . .

Until the next day when the feeding frenzy began.  For the next several days, Mataya ate continually.  Had I not known about her slow weight gain, I would not have been concerned.  Jamison commonly had days when he ate and ate and ate during growth spurts.  Since I knew of her slow weight gain, I worried and worried.

Then the crazy hormones kicked in as well.

I was a complete mess.  Maybe I was starving her?  Maybe I was selfish to try nursing her - after all if I were not nursing, I would be more available to the older kids and more willing to leave the baby?  Maybe she was fine?  Maybe I was too old to keep her nourished? Maybe. . .

 I spoke with the doctor and a lactation consultant - who disagreed totally with each other - googled all sorts of topics, and did my best to stay calm.

Thankfully I had a couple of dear friends who listened to me freak out and did their best to reassure me. Friendship is an incredible gift.  It sustained me last week.

In the midst of fussy, hungry baby - life went on.

It became clear to me that I needed to leave the cocoon of my home and reenter society a bit - for the sake of my husband and older kids.  So, I started driving kids to and from activities a bit - while baby complained.  She does not like her car seat!  I bought groceries - with the help of Sierra.  We went to church.  Brenna had some friends sleep over.  Jay had a small group here to work on a project.  I bundled up the baby and watched Jamison run at his first outdoor track meet of the season.  I tried to watch Sierra, but baby was eating and we just barely missed her race.

It was exhausting.  It was scary.  It was nerve racking.

It was also good.  Eventually, life has to go on. My older kids need me too.

On Tuesday, Mataya saw her pediatrician for the first time.  And she is still only 6 lbs 15 oz.  UGH!  Although she has not gained much weight, she has grown.  She is at the bottom end of acceptable weight gain in a week.  She gained half an ounce a day, but they want to see one ounce a day.  However, she is an inch and a half longer than she was at birth.  Her head has grown nearly a half an inch too.  Her color is good.  She is not dehydrated.  She is alert.  She has some fussy times but is also content often.  All her patterns continue to look good - so we are letting things go for one more week.  We will go back again next week, if she is not gaining more weight at that point we may start some formula.

I am SO ready for that appointment - though it is still half a week away!  I am tired of second guessing myself all the time.  Every time she fusses I wonder if she is hungry.  I am counting wet diapers like a crazy person.  I am tired of it.  I am typically confident in my ability to care for infants.  This self-doubt is driving me crazy.  (It is also wise. . . to a point.  I should be concerned and aware - but the constant stress and questioning is not good for either one of us.)

Despite all the crazy - the activities, the fussy baby, the wondering about her growth, the trying to sneak in household tasks, the lack of sleep - I am savoring this time.  It is hard.  My back gets tired from walking endless circles around our house.  I feel discouraged as my bookkeeping work piles up and I am not sure how/when I will get it done.  I feel stressed when I see the crumbs from Brenna's birthday party under the dining room table 4 days later. (I have a think for clean floors!)  It is hard, do not hear me say it is not.  Yet it is temporary!  I may need to sleep in a chair for the next four months.  I may have a really messy house.  The laundry may always be overflowing. Meals may stink.  But this work of caring for our tiny one is holy.  It is beautiful.  It is important.  Nothing else matters more right now.

I often remind myself that when I was doing day care I never felt pressured to get my housework or laundry done while I was caring for the children.  In fact, I felt guilty if I took a bit of time to clean up.  I was doing important work caring for the children.  The families were not paying me to clean my house or pay my bills - they had entrusted me with their most precious possessions, and I was determined to do it well.  Mothering is important.  It matters.  This time is a gift that I choose to savor rather than reject in any way.

Things we have learned/discovered this week:

• There are a lot of new rules in infant parenting!  Baby should stay in our room for 4 months!  She should not have anything in her crib after she is too big to swaddle.  Many say not even a blanket... luckily my doctor said a light weight blanket is OK.  I would not want to be in bed without a blanket, so I was having a hard time thinking of her without one!  She should get Vitamin D daily.  The car seat should go inside the cart instead of hooked to the seat.  This one is tough for me.  How am I supposed to buy groceries for my crew with a baby seat in the cart basket?  I can join the baby wearing craze, but letting a sleepy baby stay in her carseat seems much easier to me.  (Yes!  I know there is research that goes into all this stuff.  I surely want her to be safe.  I will follow the rules.)
• We found a pacifier Mataya likes.  At least she liked it the last 2 days. . .
• Though she is tiny on the scale, she is long!  Several of her newborn outfits no longer fit.
• She loves white noise.  The hair dryer, clothes dryer, and vacuum are calming.  She also prefers a soft shhh! to singing or humming when she is fussy.
• She loves to have her hair washed.  And when it is wet, her hair is curly.  It is so cute.  (I can't wait for her stubborn umbilical cord to fall off so she can have a real bath.  I think she will love it!)
• She insists on being held - cradle style.  When I set her down, she wakes within minutes.  If I hold her she sleeps like an angle.  Though I love to hold her, and I do NOT believe you can spoil a baby - I do need both of my arms on occasion.  So we will be shopping for a sling!  (Brenna was just like this.  She was held for 4 months straight. I even slept in the recliner with her.  She is now my most independent child.  Research totally supports holding babies! This momma just needs to find a way to be a bit more efficient.)
• My one daily cup of coffee seemed to upset Mataya, so I quit.  Now THAT is sacrificial love.

And now what you have truly been waiting for. . . pictures!

 Sierra is running the 100 and 200 hurdles and long jumping this track season.

Daddy took this awesome photo!

Sierra placed in each of her events at her very first meet this season.

Baby curls!

Krissy used to have hair so much like this. 

 Eyes wide open

They are dark blue - so far anyway!

Snuggled up to momma. . . the ONLY way she sleeps.

 One morning I was tired. . . Mataya had been up every hour, so I was infant momma tired!

I was also a bit grumbly.

And then I saw this!

And I remembered how lucky I am to be home right now enjoying every moment.

Some are stunningly beautiful like this sunrise.

Others are plain old exhausting.

But there is NO place else I'd rather be.

Thank you God for the gift of these moments.

 I think Mataya's favorite room is the laundry room.

She loves to watch and listen to the dryer.

Good think I have a nearly endless supply of laundry!

 Our evening routine includes about 3 hours of near constant nursing from 5 to 8.

Then Mataya takes a good nap in Daddy's arms, waking at 10 for one last feeding before "bed."

 Jamison is running the one mile and two mile on the CHS varsity team this track season.

He set a new PR in his first outdoor race of the season.

Happy 11th Birthday Brenna!

Brenna Joy turned 11 today!

At her request, we had a pizza and cheesecake party with family to celebrate.

Our beautiful blue-eyed girl is such a thoughtful, compassionate person.

She is a fantastic baker,

brilliant math student,

friend-to-all,

animal lover,

blossoming singer,

extremely independent,

movie love,r

and

the best helper I have when it comes to cleaning and meal prep.

I am SO incredibly thankful that God chose me to be her mom.

2 Weeks Old

This photo summarize the last few days.

I have spent WAY more time snugged up nursing this baby than any other activity.

She loves, loves, loves to snuggle up with mom.

Unfortunately, despite aaaaaalllllll the time she has spent nursing, she is not gaining weight very quickly.  She likes to snuggle more than drink.  So, I am now picking on her while she is nursing, trying to keep her more alert and focused.  I am not overly concerned as she is certainly alert, rather than lethargic; she is satisfied and serene after eating, and she wakes herself to eat often - but I am also very aware that this little peanut needs to eat, eat, eat!  

 Mataya is sleeping really great at night.

She is asleep by 11 and wakes once to nurse over night before waking for the day at 5:30.

Then she spends most of the next 3 hours nursing, cluster feeding to make up for her big sleep.

She also nurses for about 3 hours straight before she goes to bed.

During the day she eats at least every 2 hours.

I have not sat this much in many, many years!  And I have never watched this much TV!

Thankfully, I am enjoying it.  Once in a while I get antsy, but I quickly remind myself that very,very soon this phase will be over.  I best enjoy the quiet serene moments while they last.

.

 The only responsibility I have right now - other than caring for baby and regular family/household things - is the book work I do for Chad's business.  I am thankful that I can office from home easily.

 We continue to be very spoiled -  most errands have been taken care of by Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa, or Krissy.  Last week I enlisted Sharlene to find a couple of pairs of socks that would stay on Mataya's teeny-tiny feet.  Sharlene, in typical Sharlene-fashion, purchased about 30 pairs of baby socks.  So, baby girl is now a sock diva.  I am so very thankful for my friends and family.

We have also been shocked, awed, and very surprised by many thoughtful baby gifts.

Meals have been delivered.  Flowers and fruit bouquets have caught us by surprise.  And sweet thoughtful baby gifts continue to arrive.  It is all much more than we ever would expect.

We have ventured out a couple of times - once to the shop to retrieve mail and once to go through the bank drive-up - but home is our favorite! Mataya is NOT a fan of her car seat! And as often as she eats, leaving is tricky anyway.

Miss Mataya does best when held. . . but she does take a quick nap in her bouncy chair while I shower each morning.

So routines are slowly developing.

I have this thing about knowing my kids.  Though I carried her under my heart for 40 weeks, I needed time to know Mataya.  This last week of discovering her has been such a blessing.  While she changes daily, I am starting to know her cries and cues.  I am starting to be able to anticipate her needs.  That makes my heart sigh.  It also makes me feel more capable as her momma!

Mataya is a funny combo of demanding and serene.

She demands to eat with her little "birdy mouth" rooting like crazy all the time.

She demands to be held a lot - waking soon after being laid down during the day.

(Neither of these things stress me out - I "wore" her for 49 weeks.  It does not surprise me or upset me that she still feels safest when snuggled near my heart.  I also know that like it or not, constant feedings are part of being less than a month old.)

She is serene in that even when upset, she quiets quickly.  We have yet to hear her "red line."  She complains, but does not totally lose it. 

She loves to have her hair washed.

She hates the hiccups.

She loves to be warm - she is often double swaddled.

She does not like to have her chest and tummy rubbed.

She loves to have her scalp, feet, and hands massaged.

She loves white noise like the dryer and vacuum.

My favorite baby story from last week came from Joshua.

On Sunday, I let him have his neighbor-buddy over to play.  When the boys came into the house I heard Joshua ask his friend, "You want to see something really cute?"

His buddy asked if we got a new puppy or kitty?

Joshua responded, "Nope!  I got something WAY cuter than that!  I got a baby sister!"

Sigh.

I have rarely been more content than I am right now.

I know moments like this are fleeting,

so I am focusing on savoring this time.

Thank you Jesus for moments like these.

Snow Day Snuggles

I spotted these four snuggled up in our bed watching a movie today!

This photo pretty much sums up the day. . .

snuggles,

movies,

cookie baking,

simplicity.

I LOVE being a stay at home mom again.

And I really, really love snow days.

Her First Week

 Words can not express how much I am enjoying this baby.  In many ways I feel like a first time mom.  I am just so in awe of her.  I spend hours snuggling her, watching her sleep, and simply soaking her in.  On the flip side, I am NOT a first time mom.  I have 18 years (yikes!) experience at mothering.  And that, too, is an advantage.  I am calmer, less overwhelmed, more confident, and more patient than I ever could be without those decades of experience!  So when Mataye wants to nurse for 45 minutes every hour and a half, I just enjoy the down time. I know it is a short-lived phase, and it is precious time that I get to spend with her. And when she sleeps best snuggled close to my heart, I am not surprised.  We shared a body for 40 weeks.  It is not surprising that during her first few weeks on her own she will feel safest swaddled next to my heart.  The other huge advantage I have this time around is that I have a lot more help!  On Sunday, we got the entire house cleaned and groceries purchased in just a couple of hours by each doing just a couple of chores each.  Day to day, Chad and Krissy, along with my parents have taken care of all the carpooling needs.  I have not left the house since bringing Mataya home from the hospital, and I have rarely been more content.

 The possible down-side of being a well experienced mom is that I am all too aware of how fleeting these newborn moments are.  I am savoring each moment.  And in all honesty, I am a bit of an overprotective momma bear.  I do not enjoy sharing her. . . at all.  Sometimes I even struggle with letting her siblings hold her.  I just do not want to give up a moment, and I am well aware that in 11 weeks I will be heading back to work.

So. . . don't be insulted if I do not offer to let you hold my baby.  Soon she will be big enough to seek you out, and I will not deny her.  For these moments, though, I am choosing to hold her close almost all the time.

 Brenna and Mataya have a special after school routine.

While I get supper together, Brenna gets Mataya time.  Since Brenna is the only sibling home from 4 to 5, she has uninterrupted and unrestricted access to her baby sis.  They snuggle up together on the couch for some TV time.

 Joshua adores the baby.  Though he is shocked by how much time she spends eating, he has learned to come into my bedroom and chat with me there.  He is convinced that he is her favorite.  He has shown no jealousy or frustration at all.  He has even headed out the door to school each day without complaint, even though he knows I am home.  I am so impressed with how he has handled this transition.  He has certainly come a looooong way!

The only thing he does not like is that his "pillow" (aka the baby bump) is getting smaller each day.  He checks my tummy every day and complains that I am not as comfy to cuddle with any more.  He makes me laugh.  

 Sierra adores the baby - but she gets pretty nervous if Mataya fusses at all.  Mataya is a very serene baby.  I have yet to hear her "red line" cry.  She has fussed very, very little.  It is a good thing, too, for a fussy sister would break sweet Sierra's heart!

 Krissy simply adores the baby.  I am so very thankful!  It is risky for Krissy to fall for this tiny sister as she is preparing her own heart to move away.  It will make leaving a bit harder - but love is always worth the risk.

I joke that Chad and Krissy are on my "short list."  They are the only ones that I am not tempted to snatch my baby away from after she has been with them for more than a couple of minutes.  They are both amazing with her, too.  Krissy is so patient, calm, and gentle.

And Chad. . .

I have never seen him quite this smitten with a newborn.

And she adores him.  When he holds her, she snuggles in and goes right to sleep.  That does not surprise me.  Throughout my pregnancy, if she was kicking like crazy, Daddy's big, gentle hand on my belly soothed her.  Her reaction to him now is equally sweet.

Other things we have learned about this tiny one:

• She loves a foot massage.  For real!  After a sponge bath when she is fussing, lotion rubbed on her feet instantly calms her.  
• You can hear her fill her diaper from across the room.  We tease Jamison that she gets this from him.
• She loves to be snuggled close.  And yep.  We are spoiling her big time.  She is rarely put down.
• Not much upsets her for long.  Even the nurses at the hospital commented on how quick she is to calm down.  
• She can not be rushed.  Nursing takes at least 45 minutes.  And is repeated every 1.5 to 2 hours.  She did sleep for 5 hours straight last night, however, only to wake and nurse for about an hour every hour this morning.  It is all good.  I have gotten lots of naps and one whole novel read this week.  I'm loving the snuggles!

Naming Mataya

As I confessed throughout my pregnancy, choosing this baby's name did not come quickly.  In fact, we did not choose her name until a few minutes after she was born.

I had a couple of rules when it came to her name.  It needed to end in an "a."  I needed to find significance in the meaning.  The kids had to approve.

By the time we were walking the halls in labor, we had the choices narrowed down to three names.

1. Elena/Alaina - problem being we could not agree on the spelling.  Krissy wanted it spelled Elena.  Chad and I wanted it to begin with a "A" so she could be Ali or Lainey.  It seemed the safest choice as the kids were most favorable to neutral about it, but Chad and I were not totally sold.  The meaning "Shining Light" worked.  I joked that if she was blonde it would be her name for sure, but if she were dark. . . maybe not.

2. Jada - We both liked Jada.  It means "He knew."  However I was worried that Jada Hope would sound like Jaded Hope - which is not what I wanted to convey in her name.  Additionally Joshua insisted on pretending to whip his hair back and forth (like Jada Smith's song says) every time he heard the name.  It was annoying.  I did expect this to be her name, however.  It was Chad's favorite, and he has typically had the final vote.

3. Mataya - I fell in love with the name Mataya the week of our first ultrasound.  That was a scary week.  I was up early praying for our baby, giving her back to her Father, trusting that no matter what He had a plan and He was in control.  As I prayed, I realized that no matter what, she was a gift from God.  I knew in every pore of my being that fact was true - no matter what any test said.  So I googled "names that mean Gift of God" and found Mataya.  From that moment on, she was Mataya in my heart.  I tried not to totally attach to the name, but I confess to calling her baby "TayTay" often when I talked to her.  However, as it was not Chad's favorite, I did not expect it to be her name.  We also had some disagreement as to the spelling.  It was Jamison's favorite - but he wanted to spell it Matea.  The girls thought it should be Mataya.

When she was born and laying snuggled up on my chest, Kami my nurse said, "So what is it gong to be?  What is this baby's name?"

I started to say, "I don't think we have picked yet."

While Chad softly interrupted me and said, "I think this little girl is Mataya."

I asked if he was sure.  Feeling a bit guilty for "getting my way" but also loving it.

He just nodded.

Kami grabbed the marker and started writing the name on the board in the room - perhaps before we could change our mind - and wanted to know how to spell it.  I picked Mataya, saying that our son disagreed, but it just felt right to me.

When I finally spoke to Jamison the first thing he said was "Great name, but I do not approve of the spelling!"

However, the next day I spoke with my Grandma.  She told me that Mataya is a family name.  And in that regard it was perfectly spelled.

To me it is the story and lesson of my pregnancy.

It is a foreshadowing of this little one's legacy.

Mataya Hope - God's Gift of Hope

Already my world is so much better because you are a part of it.

Thank you Jesus for this little package of precious perfection.