Citizenship At Last

Citizenship has become a hot topic in America.  However, when we brought Joshua into this country, things were different.  Deportation did not feel a constant threat, and no one urged us to rush filing for his Certificate of Citizenship.  We had filed a ton of paperwork with USCIS getting approval to bring an "alien" into our country as our child.  It was approved, and the advice of the day was to get the COC finalized before he was 18 because it made FAFSA easier.  

I am not usually one to sit on paperwork, but I was SO tired of it.  Plus, we were broke.  Then we built the house, had a new baby. . . in all honesty I got distracted for a while. However, as our political climate changed, I started waking in the night worrying.  What if my son became one of those terrible cases you see on the evening news?

In January of 2016 (yes, I typed that correctly) I mailed the stack of paperwork and big ole check the government required to finalize Joshua's citizenship.  I received confirmation they got all the documents, and that was it for 18 months.  18 months into the process, I FINALLY got an email in response to the one I had sent months earlier.  I was told everything was approved, and we would be notified of his naturalization ceremony soon.

In November, I still had NO word on the ceremony.  I was feeling alone and helpless and forgotten. With the need to travel to Norway for Jamison and Ida's wedding this summer, the timing felt even more dire.  It was absolutely imperative that Joshua be able to travel with us.  In frustration and desperation, I reached out by email to Senator Hoeven's office.  I received a phone call within the week.  Monty, the staff person who spoke with me, was so kind.  She was responsive to my questions, compassionate, and willing to help.

Less than 6 weeks later, I was shocked and completely thrilled to get a call from USCIS in Fargo stating they had Joshua's expedited COC.  And today, we were FINALLY able to sign every needed document and receive his official Certificate of Citizenship once and for all.

I am beyond thankful to have this completed.

Yet, it is bittersweet.  There is a part of my heart that feels as though becoming a US citizen is a denial of Joshua's Ethiopian heritage.  And there is nothing about his heritage that we want to deny.  His biological roots are beautiful, and it is my prayer that they will grow deeper as he ages.

The complexity of adoption never ceases to amaze me.  It is not simple.  It never will be.  But it is beautiful.  And I am so utterly, humbly grateful that we were chosen to be his parents.  So often I wish I could have coffee with his Ethiopian mom and share some goofy or grand event in his life.  We share an amazing boy.  If she could see him now, I know she would be so proud.  I am also quite certain she would side with me on things like lotion usage and haircuts. (11 year old boys do not spend much time worrying about their appearance!) But if I am honest, she would probably side with Joshua on pants.  (I think he needs new pants because they are short.  He says they are in good condition, why replace them?)

If she could see him now. . .

A Whole New Year

I tend to be particularly introspective as each new year begins.  I think many people are, but for me, my birthday and the start of the chronological new year are so close together that it is a fitting time to look both backward and forward. 

Looking back. . . 

2018 was a year of HUGE change.

1. It started with me beginning the year angry.  I had realized that my family was not on the path I wished them to be on.  I had spoiled everyone, and that spoiling had resulted in a tired, angry, overworked and underappreciated mom.  Angry fixes nothing, but it can fuel change.  After voicing my hurt to my family, we worked hard to change.  Twelve months later, I am much happier - and so is the rest of my family.  The moral of my story. . . ask for help, honestly and humbly voice your needs, being "less" may just allow your family to be MORE!

2. We finished the cabin.  It was HARD - but the most glorious accomplishment.

3. Jamison got married.

4. Sierra went to college.

5. I began homeschooling Joshua.

6. We lost Chad's grandpa and two very dear friends.

7. Chad and I have worked hard at making decisions together, little and big.  We have always supported the decisions the other makes, but we haven't always discussed the small stuff a whole lot.  We made a point to do that this year, and we ended the year more unified in every way than ever before.

Phew!

Though many of the changes that 2018 brought were GOOD - change is hard work. 

Life feels much more stable looking forward.  It appears that in 2019 we can build on and fine-tune some of the changes we experienced in 2019.  But time will tell!

One never knows. . .

I like to choose a word, a theme of sorts, to concentrate on each year.  I thought (maybe hoped) my word for 2019 would be joy.  BUT, very early on  the morning of my birthday, the Lord showed me His theme for my year.

PEACE.

We spent my birthday weekend at the cabin.  It was a full house.  Jamison and Ida had one bedroom.  Sierra, Brenna and Mataya had another.  Joshua bunked in the unfinished kiddie loft.  Mataya woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream, so she climbed in our bed.  There is NOTHING comfortable about being the middle sleeper in a bed meant for two, but that is where I found myself on the morning of my 44th birthday.  Chad, exhausted from snow removal, snored on one side of me.  Mataya, restless from nightmares, slept on the other.  I was surrounded by knees and elbows, too hot and then too cold, wishing for a pillow and ear plugs.  I lay wide awake in those wee hours, totally uncomfortable and YET totally grateful.  To begin a year surrounded by such love and commitment is the highest of honors.

I slipped out of bed, silently stoked the wood stove, started the coffee maker, and grabbed my Bible, devotion book and journal.  In the light of the Christmas tree, I read these words:

"Pursuing PEACE means making an effort.  We need God's help, and we need God's grace."

-Joyce Meyer

Those words lit up my soul in a way that only the Word of the Lord can do.  You see, I long for peace.  Quiet is my jam.  I get up at 5:15 am every day so that I can have some quiet time with Jesus and coffee before my house awakens.  Rush unsettles me like few other things.  I thrive at the lake because there is LESS, and I am so thankful the Lord gave us that gift in the middle of the busiest season because in it He restores me.

However, in the quiet of that morning, He also told me that I need to PURSUE peace.  Peace is not a place.  It is not an unstuffed schedule.  It is not the lack of noise.  It is a choice.

"Peacemakers are committed to peace. They crave peace, pursue peace, and go after it. They don't just hope for it.  They don't just pray for it.  They aggressively pursue it in the power of God."

-Joyce Meyer (again)

So, this year, I intend to pursue peace.

His peace.

Perfect peace.

Peace that passes all understanding.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Peace, is His gift to me.  In the year to come, I intend to explore and use that gift as I never have before.  And in those moments when I am tempted to be afraid that the stuff of this year will challenge that goal more than I can bear - I look to the second half of the verse.  It is as if He knew just how I would question and doubt. . .

oh, yeah!  He did know.  Even then, 2000 years ago.

Peace is something I want to learn.  Teach me, Lord.  Your peace is a gift.  I want to open it fully and joyfully make use of it.  Thank You for being near.  Thank You for speaking to my heart.  Thank You for teaching me.  Thank You for the many gifts You give.  Be glorified in my life, my home, my family, and our business in the year ahead.  Be Glorified, I pray.

Christmas 2018

This year we celebrated Christmas with our tribe Sunday, Dec 16.  Originally, Jamison and Ida had planned to be in Norway for Christmas, so we planned to celebrate early. When their plans fell through and Krissy and Devin had already asked for the day off, we decided to stick with the original plan.  I was so glad we did.  It was nice to spread things out a bit.  The little people were less tired and overwhelmed; the adults were less rushed.  It was a really sweet day.

It began in church.  I do not think we have ever attended church with both of Krissy's kids.  And it wrecked me. . . in a good way.  When Sophia marched around every other adoring family member to get to her Lala during worship saying, "Lala HOLD ME!" and proceeded to snuggle happily under my chin as we sang, tears dripped down my chin.  Looking down the long pew to see all of my most precious blessings all in a row, was nearly too much.  Who am I that God would choose to give me all of them to love?  My heart and joy leaked down my cheeks as we sang.  That was MY Christmas moment.  All others were frosting.

 This girl has my entire heart.  I often say that she brings out the LaLa in me.  Sophia and I delight in each other.  She has this "LaLa dance" she does when she sees me.  She says things like, "I got my LaLa!" and "No, my LaLa!"  and "I love you, LaLa." I can not get enough of her.

 Also - currently everything about Sophia is emphatic.  She knows exactly what she wants and needs, and she chooses to clearly communicate her desires!  Part of why  adore her so much is because I am on her list of favorites.  Those who are not. . . well, you better beware!

After church, Chad made the kids' favorite. . . cinnamon roll pancakes and bacon.  It is a sugar fest, but soooooo yummy!

 In the last few months we have reached a new milestone.  Instead of fighting or getting into trouble together, this trio actually plays!  Wyatt and Mataya are two peas in a pod, and Mataya is always very nurturing and inclusive with Sophia.  When they are together it is FUN!

 At 3.5, Wyatt is all boy.  He loves race cars, movement, race cars, and movement.  He is always on the move - but Grandpa did keep him still through church by sketching race cars for him to color.  He is an adventure a minute, but a very sweet, kind boy who always gives hugs and thank you's.

 Little Sophie-doodle was so proud to help carry packages.

 Our six.

So thankful they agree to pose for me once a year.

They didn't even complain this year!

 Now maybe you understand my tears of gratitude in church.  These are ALL my people.  Words can not express the blessing that they are to me.

 My grandma Regner once told me that every little girl needs a new dolly for Christmas, so I make sure to keep her tradition alive in my littlest ones.  

Our newlyweds.  There is no privacy in our busy house, but they have this ability to be alone in a crowd.  I hope they never lose it.

We spent Dec 21-24 at the lake with the four youngest kids.  The quiet simplicity of the lake in the midst of Christmas crazy was AMAZING!  We returned home in time to go to church and have dinner with the Hoff (Chad's mom's side of the family.)

Although I could have (and perhaps should have) taken many photos, this was the only one I snapped.  Chad's precious grandma is celebrating Christmas without her husband this year.  We all miss Chad's grandpa Cal so much.  Chad and Cal were very close, and thus we have many photos of them together - but very few of Chad and his grandma.  I wanted to make sure and change that!

We got home in time for Mataya to leave snacks and a note for Santa.  Joshua was terrified of Santa, so it had been a long time since we had left treats for Santa.  What fun her sparkle and enthusiasm was!

Mataya came into our room about 7:30 Christmas morning, convinced Santa's reindeer had awakened her.  She was quite thrilled to find a note and gifts where her snack had been.

Christmas Day was spent with my side of the family at my momma's house.  She fed and loved and gifted us with a day that only she is capable of producing.  My momma has a gift for hospitality.  She thinks of every detail, every time.  As for me, I just drank it all in.  The majority of photos I snapped happened before I even left our home.  BUT, there are worse things than being absorbed in the moments, are there not?

 I adore when Sierra and Mataya sing together.

It was one of the most peaceful and precious Christmas celebrations I have experienced, with a four day weekend, tons of unrushed family time and pleasant weather.  These are the moments I want to hide in my heart and savor, always.

Always!

The Wonder of His Love

Last year the Christmas lyric "He appeared and the soul felt its worth," defined my year.  It hung on my wall and soothed my soul throughout some hard days.  Likewise, it reminded from where my joy originated throughout some really good days.  2018 really was a year of contrast, and those lyrics followed me.

This advent, the words that set my soul afire are "THE WONDER OF HIS LOVE."

The amount He loves ME absolutely amazes me.  As I gaze into it and ponder it as fully as my humanness allows, WONDER is exactly what I feel.

When I choose to, I see it. . . HIS EXTRAVAGANT LOVE everywhere.

In the face of my children.

In our full refrigerator.

In bills we are able to pay.

In nature.  Oh, how I wonder of His love when I gaze into nature.

In laughter.

In tears.

And in our cabin.  It is such a source of healing, rest and encouragement to me.  While no project we have ever completed was as much work, no project has brought us as much joy.  In the midst of one of the busiest most chaotic and uncertain seasons of our lives, the ability to retreat and REST is a miracle.  God's grace and perfect timing strike me deep every time I am here.  He knew that this is exactly what we would need at this exact time.  And my gratefulness in Him can not be explained.

As we spend the weekend before Christmas hidden away at the cabin reading books, baking cookies, watching movies, and napping my heart is filled to completely overflowing as I think of the wonder of His love for each of us.

Because I have never shared completed pictures on this format, I do today.  But the heart of this post is not the "STUFF" but One who made it all possible.

Thank you, Jesus, for this place of rest.  May we always use it for Your glory.

Catching Up...

The second half of 2018 has passed in a blur.  So many things have changed in our home, and in the mix of change my own priorities had to change.  Blogging was set aside - and for the time it was right.  I was maxed out.  But in the quiet days of advent, as I prepare my heart and mind for a new year, I feel this longing to record some of the journey.  I know that "treasuring these things in my heart" for me includes recording it.  It is how I best process and savor and remember.  So, in a nutshell. . . this will celebrate and record the major stuff of 2018.

The biggest news?!?

Jamison and Ida got engaged on a mountaintop in Norway in August.

We were thrilled.

A few weeks later, I took their engagement pictures.

And October 12, 2018. . . they eloped.

Surprise!  

While the plan to have a traditional church wedding  in Norway this August remains in place, they were advised to marry sooner for reasons of immigration. . .  so they went to the courthouse and got hitched.  And proceeded to live in separate campus apartments until the semester ended.

Love is not simple or easy, but it does conquer all.

They are currently celebrating their first Christmas as a family of three in their very first apartment together.  

We have been joking that their Christmas card should say something about the rumors about their quick wedding were correct... they were expecting A PUPPY!

While their journey is not typical or simple, they are crazy in love and so good together.  We adore Ida and are so thankful that she is now officially and forever a part of our family!

(They have many hoops to jump because immigration is very complicated and expensive, so your prayers are appreciated.)

One more highlight of the year in regards to the newlyweds. . .

In an amazing and incredible turn of events, Ida had an phenominal cross country season.  At one point, over a year post surgery, she doubted she would ever run well again.  She determined to be happy with doing her best, whatever that may be, and set a goal to be the #7 runner on her team so that she could travel to Nationals one more time.  Now since before surgery Ida was a several time All American runner, shooting for #7 on the team was a huge "downgrade" - but rather than give up, she chose to persevere.   And as she chose gratitude and humility and perseverance, healing happened.  I knew she was running better and better, but when Jamison texted me that she finished 3rd at the Griak (a HUGE MN meet) I spent the whole day holding back tears of gratitude.  Her season continued to be amazing.  She finished 12th at Nationals on a rainy, mud covered course with Jamison there to cheer for her and the rest of her family - both the American and Norwegian - watching on the internet.  All of us cheering and panicking and crying with joy and relief, celebrating her success from near and far.  It was amazing.  She is amazing.  And the healing power God grants our bodies and minds is amazing.

Moving on. . .

About the same time Jamison was off in Norway proposing to his wife, we dropped Sierra off at UND.  Her transition to college life was rough.  Just a few weeks into school, a new friend was raped.  Sierra was central in caring for her after this crime took place.  Needless to say, it was traumatic.  I still cry thinking of her. . . both hers (the girl who was raped and my beautiful daughter as she bagged clothing for evidence and loved and supported her victimized friend).  Never have I wanted to move a child home as much as I did in the days and weeks that followed.  Sierra struggled in ways she had never struggled before, and I wanted her HOME, safe and protected.  Yet, I did not want to teach her to retreat in fear.  It was ugly people. Campus life at UND seemed wild, crazy, and unsafe.  And at times it was.  She had to dig deep, redefining who she is and who she plans to be.  But slowly, through many prayers and tears and sleepless nights, I have watched a woman emerge.  She is stronger and wiser than the girl in the picture above.  She does not have everything figured out, and she is learning to be OK with it.  It has been a rough road, one I would NEVER wish her to travel, but God uses all things for our good and His glory.  Watching her learn to trust that has been miserable and beautiful all in one.

Brenna has blossomed.

She is a sophomore and LOVING life as the oldest Dietrich.  It has been such a joy to spend time with her.  I am learning that for much of her life, she chose to quietly wait her turn.  She didn't want to fight to be heard and in our noisy home, you either have to get noisy or wait your turn.  It is NOW her turn!  Talking to her for hours has been incredible.  She is fun, crazy smart, artistic, realistic and all around one of my favorite people in the universe.  These last months with her have been such a gift.

As for me, the HUGEST transition of this year has been the choice to home school.

After an incredible amount of prayer, research, soul searching, and asking of the experts, Chad and I decided that the best educational option for Joshua would be to home school.  He has some unique educational needs.  The public school system destroyed his self esteem.  The Innovation School restored much of his self esteem, but did not fill educational gaps.  I wiggled and squirmed, avoided and excused - but in the end it was clear to Chad and I both, that it was time I put some skin in the game. 

It has been hard people.

He has cried.

I have cried.

There have been days we have pushed each other to the edge.  It has taken more self control than I knew I was capable of possessing to teach this unwilling learner.  There are afternoons I collapse in a chair in  Chad's office and unpack "school" for an hour, trying to process and emotionally recover from the hard of the day.

BUT

I am 1,000,000,000,000% sure it is the right decision.  (Though some days I wish I were not!)

In order to get past some of his educational gaps, he needs to work one on one with someone he trusts.  He needs play.  He needs purpose - which to him is old-fashioned hard work, not reports, science experiments or books.  The flexibility that home schooling provides is miraculous.  The growth that I am witnessing is amazing.  

This photo is perhaps the best evidence of his growth.

He tested for his first taekwondo belt last week.  He began in September.  He so wanted to do it, however his coordination was lacking, following instructions was not on a list of things he enjoyed, and trying new things caused BIG time anxiety.  Watching him test bravely and even as a leader in some ways, just 2.5 months later brought tears to my eyes. And when at the end of the test the Master told the kids they were going to break a board, I may have panicked slightly.  Could he do that?!?  I glanced at Chad, who has been the parent in charge of taekwondo, and I saw a bit of concern in his eyes as well.  

Later, this is what Joshua told us.  "my first practice kick, I thought... oh boy, this board is strong... BUT I am stronger.  I can do this thing!"

And he did.

And he proudly let me take a picture.

And he was thrilled to have me post it on FB.

And he sent the picture to his brother and cousins.

Confidence, faith, determination, emotional self-control - that is our wish for him.  Along with literacy and math skills.  BUT if we had to choose, we would choose character over scholastic accomplishment every time.  I feel blessed to have a front row seat in his journey.

At the center of all this change, is the two of us.

Of all the things in my life I have to be thankful for, he is numero uno.  

Keeping up with our growing family and business is not easy.  Staying connected in the midst of the chaos is a choice, and Chad is so good at holding tight, keeping me grounded and loving me well.  There is never a day that I take for granted the friends, lovers, business partners, and unified parenting team that we are.  This year we will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, and I am so humbly grateful to say I am more crazy in love with this man today than I was 25 years ago.

My heart overflows.

OK - so I know I have not mentioned Krissy, Devin, Wyatt, Sophia or Mataya.  The short answer, they are good.  Steady!  Think no news is good news - and trust that I will include them soon.  I am hoping to blog more in the year to come.  I miss being able to look back at the daily and remember the moments.  Life is full and rich and noisy and bold and so busy.  SO BUSY!  But carving out time to remember is important to me.  Hopefully, it can be a source of personal peace and joy once again in this year to come.