That is OK. I decided that before I was ready to move into 2014 there were a few things I needed to get done. So, I put the new year on hold for just a bit.
And you know what? It felt good.
I think that is one of my successes in 2013. At the beginning of 2013, I declared it a year of rest. Rest has been so very good for me. I continue to be a "striver" - I probably always will - yet I have learned the habit of rest. That will be challenged heavily this year as baby girl arrives! Letting go and resting at His throne is hard for me, but I am getting better at it. I aspire to continue to grow in my ability to rest, despite the changes that loom ahead.
As I have been praying about this year, God has shown me a few verses. These verses have become the center of my aspirations for 2014.
Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with great joy and peace as you trust in him."
This verse makes my heart sigh. It fills me up.
For several years, my spiritual theme has been perseverance. I felt called to just keep truckin' -truckin' - truckin'. To simply keep on keeping on. I felt commanded to hold on tight to Him and somehow survive the ride. I was truly in survival mode spiritually. And while I am thankful that I did survive - I am happy to see that phase fade away.
I really feel like God is calling me to HOPE. To go deeper than just holding on. To trust Him and His unseen plan enough to HOPE, to dream, to be filled with Him and move forward (whatever that may mean.) expectantly.
Crazily enough, being called to hope scares me! In my time of being "stuck" in perseverance mode, I stopped hoping, expecting, dreaming. Instead, I fell into the habit of either expecting nothing, or preparing for the worst so that I would not be totally disappointed if that is where things ended up. While that thought pattern is not totally healthy or the least bit inspired, it does feel safe. I really like safe, so beginning to hope and dream - to expect God to fill me with joy and peace - to let go. . . that has been hard.
I truly spent the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy expecting something terrible to happen. When was the last time something went smoothly in my life, I asked myself? There is NO way this pregnancy will. I fought fear to a larger degree than I have ever fought fear before as I struggled to trust that no matter the outcome, God was in control. This child is His, and He loves both of us in a deeper, richer, more pure way than I will ever fully comprehend. As my belly has grown, He has filled me with a renewed hope. It has been a precious gift.
It is also one I have to choose to open each day. Hope is not coming naturally - yet. But I am learning to choose it. I am learning to claim this verse, to cling to it, to allow it to soak into my heart and soul.
I aspire to learn to HOPE in Him more fully each day of this year.
1 Corinthians 10:31
"Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
God pointed out this verse anew to me just this week.
One of the things I have been working hard at is spending some time in deep prayer and devotion each day. I ordered the book Whispers of HOPE by Beth Moore to use during my prayer time for the first 10 weeks of this year. I have felt called to hope for a while now, and when I saw this book in a catalog I thought it would be the perfect way to focus my attention during these last weeks of pregnancy.
It has been SO good for me. I find myself waking and longing to be in the Word, excited to sit quietly at His feet.
Anyway, God has used some of Beth's thoughts in a powerful way in my heart, mind, and life.
She writes, "Paul wrote a thesis in simplification. For everyone of us who ever wondered where to draw the line, juggling too many balls at once, or had trouble making up our mind, Paul offers a timely simplification: "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." We differ in talents, gifts and resources, but the hands of time strangle us all."
"We're caught in the captivity of activity."
"God never meant for us to love frenzied lives. Backbreaking schedules are not His idea."
"God is not unreasonable. He does not heap on stress and then refuse to grant us rest."
OK - so I know that these few lines do not do Ms. Moore's thoughts justice - but, they speak to me in a powerful way. Though I have learned about rest, I struggle to decide what to drop and what to pursue. I want to do it all, please everyone, and have a clean house, happy children, and successful marriage to boot. Oh, and I'd really like to fit back into my jeans at some point which means eventually some hard core exercise will be in order, and. . .
I know you all fight the same fight. I think almost all of us are "caught in the captivity of activity."
This year I aspire to make 1 Corinthians 10:31 my measuring stick. Am I doing . . . can I do (whatever the task may be) and glorify God in it or through it?
Am I truly living to glorify God? And do my tasks and attitude reflect this?
"Whatever you do - Alicia Dietrich - do it all for the glory of God." I aspire that those words will become my mantra and my measuring stick.
Philemon 1:6
"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ."
Early one morning this week I was flipping through my Bible and paused at Philemon. I felt God saying, read this. I told Him to wait. After all, Beth Moore had another passage in mind for the morning and I was on a mission. (How He must shake his head at me.)
Thankfully, He reminded me about Philemon again - because this verse has not left my mind since.
I am not sure out how this command will play out in my life this year. I sometimes feel that my circle of influence is "too" Christian. Working in a church, I am more often than not surrounded by people of faith. I know that sharing my faith - how I see God working in my life day by day - can be encouraging and challenging to other Christians. Yet, I suspect there is more to this pull I feel as I read this verse.
So I move forward with my hands, heart, and home opened. I desire to share my faith in a way I have never longed to share it before. Though I do not have words or a plan for it, it is a deep ache that I can not fully describe. While I absolutely want others to have the security that comes from a relationship with Christ. At the same time, I long to fully understand it as well. I long to live a life of hope, a life of gratitude, a life of service. A life that fully understands ALL the good things I have in Christ. A life that communicates that understanding to the world around me in a never ending cycle.
Hope in Him.
Glorify Him in all I do.
Share my faith that I may understand it/Him more fully.
My aspirations for 2014. . .
