I hope you will never guess!
One of the things I pride myself in is knowing my kids. I do my very best to know and understand each of our kids as individuals. I typically think I am pretty good at it.
However. . . Krissy shocked me BIG time this fall when she announced that what she wanted to do after graduation is join the National Guard. I had never considered that for her.
Do NOT get me wrong. I am NOT against the plan - I just did not see it coming. Krissy is typically anti-uniform and anti-physical exercise and anti-following orders. I never, ever expected her to consider military life.
The first month after she told us of her National Guard aspirations was rough. While she had fully thought through her plan, she had even met with a recruiter - we were about 12 steps behind. We kept asking "have you considered" types of questions. She was totally frustrated, because she had! As we kept questioning her logic, she felt like we were not trusting her judgement or supporting her plans. It took some time, and many conversations - including an embarrassing meeting with the recruiter complete with momma bursting into tears - but we are all on the same page at last!
Although Krissy really wanted us to sign for her so that she could join the guard before she turns 18, which would mean she could head to basic training right after graduation, we have refused. As I tearfully explained to the recruiter, I feel very strongly that joining the military is an adult decision. I totally support her decision. I have promised to drive her to the recruiting office on her 18th birthday - July 9 - so she can sign. After, I will take her out for a celebration lunch. I will send her care packages to Basic, and she will have my complete support throughout her service in the Guard. However, since she will more than likely be deployed, which comes with significant risks - including death - I need her to be completely responsible for her choices. If she would be killed or wounded as a part of her service, I can not spend my life wondering if she would have made the same choices had we made her wait. As I explained (through my tears, totally embarrassing both Krissy and myself) to the recruiter, "You can not ask a mom to do that!"
So, she will go with plan B.
She will sign on her 18th birthday.
She will head off to Basic about 120 days after signing. She will go to AIT following Basic Training. Then she will return home, live with us, and work full time until school starts in the Fall of 2015.
She will head off to NDSU in the fall of 2015 with full National Guard benefits. She plans to double major in Spanish and (perhaps) business. Following her undergraduate work, she plans to go to law school.
She has also registered for both NDSU and BSC for next year - just in case she gets injured, or changes her mind about the Guard. So, she has a plan and a back-up plan.
That would be my ultra-organized, completely-brilliant, oldest daughter.
Although this plan shocked me, I think it is a good one. Joining the Guard will stretch Krissy in ways she has never been stretched before. She will learn skills that she would never learn any other way. She will be in the best shape of her life - for sure! She will also graduate from college without debt.
I am feeling so many things as I prepare my heart to send her off. All the normal momma emotions - pride, fear, excitement, sadness, joy, anticipation, curiosity, gratitude. But the greatest of these is LOVE. As my daughter becomes an adult, our relationship will change - just as it has continually changed through all the other ages and stages of her life - but no matter how far she goes, no matter how many things change, my love, prayers, and support will follow her.
Transitioning into the parents of adult children is something Chad and I have talked and prayed about a lot. It may be our greatest parenting challenge yet, Krissy Jean - trying to help and support yet NOT intrude and control you, backing away enough to give you space yet not too much that you feel lost and alone. Once again, poor girl, you will be the test-child. Please know, beloved one, that we will do our best. Be patient, our daughter, for we are learning, too. We will make mistakes. As will you. Some days will be impossibly hard. But Jesus and Momma (and Daddy) will always love you.
Always.
