These last weeks have been a crazy rush of rush.
Nothing stretches me like rushing. I have learned that although I am capable of multitasking and packing my schedule fuller than full, in seasons of "too much" I do not thrive, I merely endure. I have learned to avoid rush. To choose my activities carefully. To make space, create boundaries, and allow myself to savor.
Unfortunately, right now rushing feels like my only option.
I had a plan for this Spring. It was mostly about Jamison and enjoying all the end of high school events - Prom, senior photos, track meets, hosting his open house. But there was to be a generous sprinkling of the other kids as well. Brenna turns 13 next week, which means a party is in order. Wyatt and Mataya keep me on my toes. End of the year concerts are always a highlight of spring. Brenna is running track, so we will have twice the meets to attend. Business is busier than ever before. It was sure to be BUSY - but I was ready.
And then Krissy and Devin threw a BIG, exciting monkey wrench into my master plan. They got engaged on March 5. On March 29, she asked if she could stop over and talk wedding. When we started talking she blew me out of the water when she asked if we could plan a wedding for April. . . as in THIS April. (Insert panic here.)
All I told her is that I would try. And then I texted some of my most trusted prayer warriors and asked them to pray that if this wedding was the Lord's will that I would find a venue.
So at 8 am Monday morning I started calling the list of venues I had created in the hopes of finding a location in which to host the event. She probably would have preferred to elope. He wanted a ceremony, dinner, and dance. She bowed to what he wanted, which meant they were hoping I could plan a big ole party within the next 44 days. (Insert more panic here.)
By 10:30 I had a place. And it was the exact place the kids had hoped for.
By mid afternoon I had booked the venue, a cake, and a DJ. All while caring for Wyatt and Mataya. (Insert exhaustion here.)
Operation wedding had officially begun.
Today, 13 days later, Krissy has chosen her dress, and it is currently being altered. She also chose Sierra's dress. (Sierra will be her only bridesmaid.) We have purchased their shoes as well. Mataya will be flower girl and her dress should arrive tomorrow. Invitations are addressed and will be mailed in the morning; table decorations are chosen and the materials are on order. I have consulted with the hotel as to room arrangement, food choices, times, etc... The cake is sketched and the deposit made. Chad is constructing a custom wagon for the babies to ride in. Krissy and Devin have met with a pastor. We have a pre-planning meeting with the photographer tomorrow. And my credit card is melting.
I'm exhausted people, as much from the lack of space to process as from the physicality of it all. These are the days I once dreamed of. My daughter is getting married! We are planing her wedding. And it is NOTHING like I had expected.
Does that not define motherhood!
I have learned in the last 13 days that one of the most precious gifts my mom and dad gave me was the wedding of my dreams. I had a wedding. It was beautiful. It was precious. It was everything I wished it to be. I have often said it was the most perfect day of my life. Because I had my "fairy tale," I am now capable of stepping back and (hopefully) giving Krissy hers.
I follow her lead. If she wants to rush, we will rush. When she chooses things opposite of what I would choose for myself, I (try to) marvel at how uniquely we are each made. "It is her day", has become my mantra. It will truly be one of the most interesting weddings I have ever attended, marked by an amount of tradition along with a huge dash of surprising and original. Krissy is bold, untamed, and unique; and, I am proud that she is being herself even when it would be easier to cave to cultural norms.
So pray for me people! Pray that relationships would not be harmed, and even, God-willing, strengthened during this time of crazy. Pray that God would allow me moments to savor even in this rush. Pray that I would have the ability to attend to the needs of each of the people dear to me during this busy season and that I would be able to ignore those details that do not matter (like vacuuming) in order to invest in the things that do.
Most importantly, pray that God would break the hearts of Krissy and Devin for Him. Marriage is hard. I do not know how you can succeed at it without Christ at the center. As they step into this holy covenant, my heart and soul long for them to bend their will not just to each other but to Him as well.
