These last few months have been full - like a cup filled to the brim. Imagine it. . . When a cup is filled to the brim it appears that the liquid is suspended in a dome just the tiniest amount over the top of the cup. The slightest wiggle and a spill happens. There is no room for error.
THAT image describes our life lately.
We have pushed to the margins, stretching limits absolutely as far as they can be stretched, in many areas.
Our schedules have been intense. Chad and I have been exchanging a few quick updates and instructions as we as we pass in the garage, as one of us leaves and the other returns.
Finances have been tighter than usual as well, as one job was pushed back and another job was slower to pay than expected. (Nothing catastrophic. . . just annoying.)
We have traveled more than usual. This is the first weekend in ages in which I have been home and NOT working. (Chad, however, is gone.)
Routine has been impossible. Each day, I have needed to make decisions as to what MUST be done and what must wait.
One day I was feeling particularly weary. I was whining to God about it all. I actually said, "Lord, I am so tired of needing You so much. I thank you that You have provided enough every day - enough money, enough time, enough patience - but I could use a little margin here. I want to relax and know I have it under control."
He let me sit in my own thoughts for a bit - like a naughty child in time out. My own words seemed suspended in air, echoing in my mind.
I had the AUDACITY to complain to my Lord and Savior that He had provided enough. Enough was not good enough for me. Like a spoiled brat, I wanted excess. I wanted to feel powerful and in control, rather than needy, humble, and submissive.
His silent grace and understanding washed over me. It corrected me with such a kindness and love. It is mind boggling really, just how incredibly free I felt as I recognized my sin combined with His grace.
Since that day, when I am tempted to be overwhelmed or anxious or ungrateful, I take a deep breathe and thank Him instead. I thank Him for His faithfulness. I thank Him that although I have had very little excess, I have had enough.
And enough IS enough.
His prayer says, "give us this day our daily bread."
Jesus taught us to ask for and expect enough for the day, and not to worry about the next day. When I choose to live as He taught, everything changes.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV)
