This week was busy. Extremely busy. And while there were many moments that I allowed rush and fatigue to get in the way of fully savoring, there were many MORE moments in which beauty soaked deep into my being, filling me with the type of gratitude that brings goosebumps to my arms and tears to my eyes.
Early this week, Chad sent Mataya and I to the cabin. Our goal was to paint the master bedroom and do some organizing and cleaning because we would all be staying there this weekend for the very first time. I had never slept in the cabin before. I had also never been in charge of turning on the water, turning up the heat, unlocking the gate, etc. . . I was both excited and nervous. I was also feeling very rushed. I had much to accomplish at the lake, at the office, and at home. I was very much task-focused, but as always, as I drove the desolate gravel roads that lead to the cabin, my stress began to melt. Just a mile and a half from the cabin, this stunning bald eagle greeted me. We have been watching her from afar all summer - but there she was so close, perched on a tree right next to the road. I came to a stop in the middle of the road, rolled down my window, and watched her. As she looked at me looking at her, it was as if to God were saying, "I love you. I have planted beauty on your path. Open your eyes to it. Savor it. Recognize it as a gift from Me."
When we arrived at the cabin, Mataya insisted on helping me prime and paint the bedroom. Though it would have been easier (not to mention less messy) to paint by myself, it would not have been better. She is SO proud of the work she did. What a precious blessing to see her work so hard and feel so good about what we accomplished. She is such a gift.
Later in the week, we celebrated our darling granddaughter's first birthday. Sophia Jean Marie is the most delightful little thing. She it tiny - the size her brother was at about 7 months - but mighty. She walks like a boss and radiates joy. When she comes around the corner, grinning at me and squeezing her chubby little fingers in and out excitedly, my whole world stops. She loves to cuddle and adores food - so we have a few things in common!
There is something so unique about being a grandparent. I do not know my grandbabies inside and out as I did my own children. I am often out of touch with day to day accomplishments, and I do not understand all their babbled words. But I love them with a tenderness and ferocity that defies all logic. Sophie-girl, I love you more than I can even explain.
There is something so unique about being a grandparent. I do not know my grandbabies inside and out as I did my own children. I am often out of touch with day to day accomplishments, and I do not understand all their babbled words. But I love them with a tenderness and ferocity that defies all logic. Sophie-girl, I love you more than I can even explain.
Though he is not such a "baby-guy" Grandpa agrees, you are the definition of sweetness.
The week ended and the weekend began with our family staying at the cabin for the very first time. Though the only room that is totally complete is the main floor bathroom, we have heat, a functioning kitchen, and cots to sleep on. The floors and most of the walls are unfinished, the furniture is make-shift, but that did not stop us from having a wonderful time. There is nothing that fills my soul like having my kids nearby, and this weekend I was surrounded by nearly all of them (except Krissy and her family).
This is not even a good picture, but so many of my kids around the same table makes my heart so happy that I had to snap a photo.
The only one who loves Jamison and Ida coming home more than I do is Mataya! She follows them everywhere, and if I talk to either of them too much she says, "Mom go away! It's MY turn!!!!"
Late one afternoon, Mataya insisted on sleeping snuggled up under my chin. It was a rare moment. Everyone else was gone. Dinner was simmering silently. The only task that beckoned was holding my littlest daughter. Oh what a precious gift that hour was.
As was watching her daddy hold her as they watched a movie later that same day.
The actual purpose of the weekend was to hunt for deer - but in my heart the purpose was to relax and savor the moments. And to cook! I spent a ton of time happily preparing meals and snacks for my hunters to come home to.
I also spent time exploring outside with Mataya. I am determined to spend more time outside this winter - so I pulled on warm clothes and went hiking with Mataya daily.
We discovered the tiniest little birds nest.
Fresh air is good for the soul. Even icy air!
This week I read, "The antidote to exhaustion isn't rest. It's nature." Shikoba.
And while rest is so very important, I do agree. Nature resets my focus and brings a calm that few other things bring.
Even icy nature. (That is HUGE coming from a recovering winter-hater!)
Without a doubt, my week was filled with beauty. True, physical, natural beauty. Along with relational, soul-filling beauty.
BUT it was also filled with MESS.
Take a good look at this photo. Filthy floors, piles of tools, tons of clutter, "creative" furniture etc. . . Though there are many beautiful elements at the cabin - the countertops, shower, appliances, paint color - the VAST majority of it is rough. Unfinished. Partially complete. Messy. It is a place brimming with potential - but much work remains.
As I sat at my make-shift kitchen table, sipping coffee and doing my devotional this week, God whispered. "Look around. This is how I see you, how I see your family. I see the beauty. I see the potential. Each of you have areas in which you are complete - but larger areas that need to be worked on. Polished. Painted. Refinished. Or remodeled." In those minutes, He challenged me to love like He loves. To love deeply, graciously, and mercifully - without judgement - in the messy places. To watch expectantly as He works on each of us, polishing our rough spots, so that we can glow with the finished beauty only He can create.
More than anything else this week, I am thankful for His craftsmanship. I am thankful that He is creating beauty in the mess all around me. And I am completely in AWE of the pure beauty that He revealed to me, even in the midst of much mess.
