Grumpy and Grieving - but Working Toward Grateful

November is usually my favorite month.

I typically pride myself in living with a grateful heart.

This November, I am failing.  While I can cognitively count my blessings my heart is heavy.  I know I have much for which to be thankful, but my thankfulness is hollow. 

It is driving me crazy.

I want to list all the reasons that I have to feel disappointed, stressed, angry, hopeless.  I want to write a poor me post. 

(In all honesty, I did write my long list of gripes right here in this spot.  Just because I wanted to.  Then I deleted that list.)

The truth is I have had some major disappointments in this last year.  It is not turning out as I had hoped.  However, God never tells us we will not face disappointments, frustrations, failures, trials, temptations, heartache. . .

Instead He commands us "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you." (1 Thes 5:18)

I have decided to focus on that verse this month.  I have decided to choose gratitude, because in the center of God's will is exactly where I want to be.

So here is my list of things I am thankful for today:

• Dinner with Chad and the kids all around one table tonight.
• The news "she speaks!"
• Brenna playing the same song over, and over, and over on a recorder with joy and delight.
• Chad hugging me like I am someone really precious.
• Reading books with Joshua and Brenna.  Then snuggling them as they fall asleep.
• Jamison's practical jokes.
• Sierra's stories about her friends.  I am so thankful she shares her heart.
• Tea and pumpkin bread
• The promise that there is more.  The troubles of this world will end one day.
• Clean bath towels that I do not fold or launder.

***In case you are wondering, we are still in a hotel.  Carpet is supposed to be relaid tomorrow in certain areas of the house.  It sounds like we should be able to move back into the house by the middle or end of next week.  We are scheduled to close on Nov. 21.  Before closing, we need to insulate, firetape and sheet the garage.  Lay new tile in Jay and Sierra's bathroom.  Lay flooring in the master bath.  Also the master bath needs a full tile shower, toilet set, and tile surround to the tub.  All plumbing in that room will need to be completed.  The room also needs baseboard.  And the backsplash in the kitchen will need to be grouted.  Chad, Jamison, and Sierra will be off deer hunting this weekend.  So we have much work in short time, but Chad says it will be OK.  I'm honestly not sure how, but I do know that when Chad says he will figure it out - he will figure it out.  SO, I am praying that we will have a cozy Thanksgiving in a completed home.

Would you please join me? 

I am totally, completely longing for home.