Today is the final day of summer vacation.
Back to school always gives me a bit of a stomach ache. This year that ache is a bit bigger than usual.
EVERYTHING, it seems, is changing. And although the majority of those changes are good and exciting, my heart aches a bit as I process them.
The picture above kind of sums up the changes. . . there is one less. Always one less it seems. My kids are growing up. It is rare for us all to be together. I hate that.
Sigh.
It is also good.
Normal.
The reality of life.
I am so thankful I will have Mataya with me this fall. I thank Jesus for the gift of our tiny one about a thousand times a day!
Joshua heads off to Kindergarten tomorrow. Though he would rather got to work with Daddy, he is READY to go to Kindergarten. I am so proud of him! (My mommy heart is also a little worried. He will be the only one of his siblings in his school since Brenna is headed to Middle School. He does not care about this. It does not seem weird to him at all. But the last time I sent a little one to Kindergarten without an older sibling in the building was 14 years ago, so it feels a bit lonely to me.)
Brenna heads off to middle school. She is calm as a cucumber about this. She is super pumped that she fits into size 0 jeans, and she is feeling and looking very grown up in her school clothes. I LOVE her middle school. I also know she is ready, making this transition one of the easier ones.
Sierra heads off to high school. She is the first of our kids to be at the high school as a 9th grader. It is both happy and sad to me. She is ready. I am too. . . mostly. Sierra is a beautiful, very social, and an incredibly grounded young lady. As a cheerleader she will be spending a lot of time with upper classman this year. I am praying like crazy that as her friend group rearranges (as is only natural in high school) that her friends will continue to be wonderful influences to her and she to them. Ever since she was a toddler I have joked that she will march her crowd either into our away from trouble. And I have prayed that the Lord would use her for His glory. He has been so faithful, and so has she. She has a beautiful, encouraging, enthusiastic heart. She has a wonderful opportunity to shine for Him as she cheers. I expect great things. I also confess to being a little scared. High School presents so many opportunities to stray. I want to keep her in a bubble and protect her from all evil. While that is totally unrealistic (and also not what I would truly wish), I AM thankful that Jamison will be there to watch out for her. He certainly keeps tabs on her, and she adores him. . . almost all the time. I expect there to be a few hiccups as they figure out how to navigate the halls of CHS together - but I also expect it to be a great time for them both.
Jamison is the most steady of the kids this fall. He has few changes. More and more is expected of him as he progresses through high school, and thus far he has responded with maturity. He feels solid. And yet, he turns 17 in November. My only other experiencing a seventeen-year-old was not so fun, so fair to him or not, my stomach hurts a bit as his birthday approaches.
Krissy is living in town with a friend. We see her once or twice a week. She is scheduled to head to Basic Training in October. She has had some health issues which may delay that departure. She's struggling with many aspects of leaving. Growing up is hard. Please be praying for her. And me. All this letting go and staying out of it is hard for me. I wake up at 4am most days worrying about her. Worrying is not Godly, but it sure is human. Sigh. I'm working on it.
I'm tired, friends. All this change is wiping me out.
I am thankful that there is One who never changes. In Him and only Him do I place my trust.
