TBH as my kids would say, translated to be honest, I hated sending my kids back to school today. Although my kids say it was a boring summer, translated we did not go on a fancy vacation, from my perspective it was the best summer I have had in many, many years. Summer is so hard for full-time working moms. The kids want (and sometimes need) to go places. For the past several summers I have flet totally conflicted. I wanted the kids to be able to do fun things, go to camps, participate in sports, attend summer school, etc, etc, etc. . . but I also needed to work. Getting them places was a constant source of stress. Not getting them places was equally stressful because then I worried they watched to much TV. I spent the last several summers feeling like a failure. For me there was no good way to balance both my job and motherhood.
This summer I was free to be me - momma first, employee second. Working for Chad works well in that he prefers to work more and I prefer to parent more. He is thankful when I am able to do most of the parenting, and I am thankful that he takes up much of the slack at work. Focusing on my kids and NOT feeling guilty for it was THE BEST.
Thankfully the kids were not as sad about the start of school as their momma! They were up and ready to go.
Jamison had early morning xc practice. I did not have the heart (or maybe guts) to ask him to pose for a picture at 5:30 am.
Sierra is a Freshman at CHS.
Gulp!
After a summer of cheer practices in the halls of CHS, she is SO ready to take on High School.
Brenna Joy is a 6th Grader. It is her first year of Middle School.
Unfortunately she got the flu mid-morning and I had to bring her home. She was devastated, poor girl.
Joshua is in Kindergarten.
He was AMAZING this morning!
I pulled up to his school and he said, "You stay in the car. I got this!"
I was not sure what to do. No "good" parent allows her child to walk into school by himself on the first day of Kindergarten, right?!? But when Joshua is ready, he's ready. . .
I told him to have a good day and then watched him walk away. When I did not drive away immediately he walked back to the car. I got out and asked if he wanted me to walk him in. He said, "You can if you want to. I just wondered why you didn't drive away!"
So I walked him in. He hung up his backpack and headed out to the playground. He walked me to my car and I worried he would get sad. I could not have handled his sad this morning. I was not up to tough love. But when we got close to the car, he gave me a hug, Mataya a kiss, yelled "see ya later" and went to play on the monkey bars.
I cried all the way home. They were tears of pride and joy really - not sad tears. We have worked so hard to get to today. Joshua is truly confident - in himself and in us as his family. He is so capable. I am so, so thankful. It is absolutely amazing.
Only God could heal our son so completely.
Sweet Mataytay did not know what to think of all the commotion this morning. She was up before 7, which is totally unheard of for her. In fact, she needed a nap on the drive to drop off her kids! I have been so thankful to have her home with me today. Her smiling self cooing at me is just what I needed this morning. God knew I would need her this fall. I feel blessed over and over again by the gift of this tiny one.
