Chad and I have been married for 21.5 years. He is without a doubt my greatest earthly treasure. He knows me better than I know myself, sometimes. He is my bestest bestie, my wisest confidante, my biggest fan.
But you know what?
Life around here is busy!
Business is blessedly crazy.
Our house is full of activity and noise and tasks.
We have tag teaming down to a science. I do meals. He does bath. I do laundry and payroll. He designs projects and keeps the customers and employees happy. I email teachers. He calls clients. I pay the bills. He provides the funds. And the list goes on. . .
We know how to dance the dance - but I recently realized that we rarely connect.
Truly connect.
We have quick lunch dates with Mataya in tow. We send scheduling updates via text. We soak in all the kids tell us during dinner. And by the time we climb into bed at night we are just TIRED!!!!! Our ears and brain ache from ALL that we processed during the day.
And that is NOT OKAY.
I started thinking and praying about a way to connect with Chad. How do I speak his language? The answer? Oddly - TV.
Chad loves to watch TV. I like to read. Many evenings I head to our bedroom with a book longing for silence. Meanwhile, he sits in the family room and watches all his favorite shows while surfing the net on his IPAD. I humbly realized that while I once sat in a cold shop reading while he worked on his car, just to be near him. Twenty-one years later I was just not putting in as much effort. That is not the wife I want to be. I knew I did not want to watch ALL the TV he does, but I started thinking about trying to engage in one or two shows with him each week.
So - I started trying to catch up on Chicago Fire, which lead to Chicago Med, and Chicago PD. I spent one day watching 5 episodes. This is SOOOOOO not me. But, he was thrilled. I explained my motivation, and he made me popcorn.
Throughout all of last weekend we watched episodes together, and it was fun. We snuggled up on the couch and focused on the same mindless thing. Connecting can be simple sometimes.
(Joshua, the true TV addict of our home, pitched a big ole fit about his mom hogging the TV. It was hilarious.)
Being mindful of simple ways to connect has been a beautiful thing. We have both been much better at sending a text or making a call stating something a little sweeter than "what time will you be home?" or "can you pick up Brenna at 5:20" We have both been better at listening to each others stories at the end of the day.
And he said the sweetest thing.
He watched Mataya and Wyatt for about an hour while I drove to town to run an errand. When I returned he said, "Honey, I don't know how you do it. These two are really sweet kids. I love them both. But it is A LOT of work taking care of them."
Connection.
Praise.
Understanding.
Those qualities can not be over rated.
And yet they are also deliberate.
Choose wisely with me, friends. Choose connection. Fight for it. Especially when you are too busy.
Because those moments will make your heart sing.
