While Joshua has always been comfortable with us talking about and traveling to Ethiopia, he prefers it to be impersonal. He does not want to share with anyone (outside of our family) that is was born in Ethiopia. He has never allowed me to talk to his class about Ethiopia -not even when they did a unit on Africa in preschool. He does not want to talk about the fact that he has some family in Ethiopia. All personal topics have been off limits.
But - as we have prepared for this trip, he has been willing to talk about his Ethiopian history just a tiny bit. He has asked how old I think his Ethiopian mom would be. We has asked to see the only photos we have of his family there. He has asked hard questions, like "could I have stayed in Ethiopia?" , "do you think my family there has enough food?" , "mom, people die when they don't have enough food, you know."
He has also set firm boundaries. He will ask a question or two, and then he is done! I asked if he would like to know his Ethiopian mom's name and his response was, "No. I'm going to play now." I love that he sets those boundaries. He opens the door and then closes it when it becomes more information than he is ready for.
On January 19 (the day we received his referral five years ago) I began to tell him about the first time I saw his face. He told me, "Mom, I know all this." And my story telling ended there.
One day Joshua heard me talking to the girls about our trip. I shared with them my desire to bring along a couple of totes of school supplies to deliver to Biniam's school. We brainstormed about who to ask to help with the project. Joshua said, "Mom, you should ask my teacher. She would like to help."
I was shocked. And happy. He had never asked me to share anything even remotely Ethiopian with a teacher before. So I did, of course. She asked if she could share the project idea with the class and if I would be willing to come and talk to the kids. I told her to ask Joshua if it would be OK with him.
Once again, Joshua set clear boundaries. He wanted me to come and share with his class - BUT I could NOT share that he was born in Ethiopia.
I went to his classroom this morning. I was so excited! I was also a bit nervous. I am totally FINE with Joshua being private - but I am NOT fine with him living crippled by fear or shame. I SO wanted today to be a positive experience. One that would build his confidence and self-esteem.
I put together a PowerPoint presentation that told about the weather, food, homes, schools, animals, and some things children enjoy in Ethiopia. I wanted the children to grasp the poverty, but I did not want them to get stuck there. I wanted them to sense the beauty and pride and richness that is Ethiopia.
While I do not know what the children will remember, I do know my son was very proud. He was thrilled to have me at school. He chimed in the things he knows. He stood by me and called on his classmates as they asked questions. He was precious.
(He is tall - but not as tall as he looks in this photo. He's standing on a platform.)
