I can not explain how healing the last week and a half has been. I actually felt rested.
Chad has given me a beautiful gift this Christmas break, rest. He has done all the errands - I have not left our house since last Friday at 1pm. He has also done the majority of the cooking. And I have chosen to accept his gift with deep gratitude.
I am a worker-bee by nature. Tasking is my comfort zone, and I can get a lot done in not much time. I have come from a long line of worker-bees, and I follow hard in the example of my grandmothers, my mom, and my dad. Fun and rest are not things that come naturally to me.
But as 2012 came to a close, I was all worked out. I could not go any more. My brain was turning to mush, and my ability to handle stress had almost disappeared. I had been through more than I could handle, with NO rest, and I was melting down. I knew I was in over my head, but there had been no opportunity to just chill.
Truly no opportunity. I had looked deep into my schedule trying to see the things that had to be completed to keep my ego intact (like cleaning out the fridge, buying gifts for the mailman, etc) and I truly could not see a way to downsize my to do list. I just had to keep pushing.
That push has come to an end!
The house is complete.
The insurance settlement is done.
Christmas is in the books.
And I have rested.
Normally this would be where I come up with a fairly realistic list of aspirations for the year.
I was headed in that direction early this morning. Joshua woke me very early, so I jumped online and found the read through the Bible in a year plan that I aspire to follow. I decided to read the passages for the day and then hop online and order a set of workout DVDs I have been eyeing. After that I was going to sit down with Chad and figure out how to get my work schedule under control. Then I was going to take down all the Christmas stuff, clean the whole house, and put all the "normal" decorations up. Then I was going to start organizing the storage room.
TRULY.
However a verse in Genesis stopped me in my tracks, "And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it He rested from all the work of creating that He had done." Genesis 2:3.
It was the word "HOLY" that stopped me in my tracks. I DO NOT consider rest holy. I consider it fun, on occasion, - but really unnnecessary. There is work to do people, I do not have time for rest.
But God considered rest holy.
Hmmmm.
It hit me in that quiet spot in my heart where only God speaks.
Rest is holy.
So this year, I aspire to rest.
Yes, I do know that the Bible calls us to WORK. There is much that talks about good works, working as if working unto the Lord, etc... Work is important. And it maybe should be the goal of many of us for the year. For me, work has become an idol of sorts. It is a comfort zone. A place where I feel important, in control, needed. I am good at work.
Rest. . . well, I am not so good at that.
So in 2013, I aspire to rest. Not to be lazy, but to rest in Him.
I hope that many other things will also happen. I would love to start working out again. I would love to adopt another child. I would love to rearrange my schedule so that both of my jobs have some structured time. I would love to get the storage room organized, the yard landscaped, some trees planted, more concrete poured, a fire pit built. . .
But I KNOW that before I add or change anything, I must make rest a priority. I must learn to pause, sleep, listen and then procede with all of His crazy plans.
Happy New Year, my friends! May we each follow His plan for our year.
