Once upon a time I called myself a runner. Running was where my brain rested, my heart worshiped, and my spirit listened. I adored my runs.
Over the last year running became impossible. I truly did not have the time or energy to run. It was one of the many things that were sacrificed while we built and rebuilt the house.
The funny thing is, during the time I was unable to run, my son became a runner. A serious one. He has only taken 2 weeks off from running since last August. His coach insists that he not break 7 minute mile pace this summer as they "take it easy" and lift more during the off season. (I have never run a sustained 7 minute mile pace in my life!)
Now that he is a runner, he tends to critique other people he sees running, walking, or jogging as we drive by them. The other day he commented, "They may call themselves runners, but we call them joggers." with a good natured chuckle, as we drive by a trio of middle age ladies trudging along the path.
I laughed, because Jay's dimples, the twinkle in his eye, and the kindness in his tone even while joking makes me laugh.
Today, I got home from work and decided I felt good enough to run on the treadmill. I am still coughing, but I felt almost energetic this afternoon.
As I changed clothes and laced up my tennis shoes, I gave myself a mental lecture. "Be kind to yourself! Take it easy! You have taken a looong time off and you are still sick, be careful!"
I climbed on the treadmill and said a quick prayer of thanks that it still worked after the summer in a moving trailer before starting to run ever so slowly. Running felt good. And as my stride became relaxed and rhythmic, I was tempted to "go try hard" - to push hard.
However, I was stopped by this quiet whisper, "Love yourself as your neighbor."
I quickly corrected, "You mean love your neighbor as yourself?"
And I heard, "Love yourself as your neighbor."
Hmmmm. Many nights I pray those verses over my kids. "Brenna Joy Dietrich, I pray that you would love the Lord Your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And that in doing so you would love your neighbor as yourself."
So why was I hearing this verse backwards?
As my feet continued to trod along, and my mind continued to relax, I really feel like God whispered, "Alicia, you do a pretty good job of taking care of your neighbor. But can you love yourself the same way? This body worked hard last year. It served you well. Now take care of it. Be gentle. Love yourself. Even in exercise, rest."
Long, sweet, sigh.
That is why I love running. It is then that I hear God best.
So I am officially a jogger! I am trudging along like an old lady, and I am perfectly content with that! I will exercise, but slowly and carefully. Not Jillian Michaels style, for sure! But for now, for this season of rest, jogging just feels right.
And if my son sees me trudging down the road he will give me his handsome dimpled grin and say "Mom, you suck!" Which translates to, "You are sloooow, but I am proud of you for trying."
Which do you need to work on? Loving yourself? Or loving your neighbor?
