I spent last week with the adult equivalent of "camp friends."
Remember when you were a kid and went to summer camp? There were those friends that you waited to see each year. You did not talk or hang - outside of camp, but at camp you were "besties."
That is sort of what our some of our Chief trip friends have become.
One thing I discovered last week is that we have become "that young couple from ND. . . you know the ones that have 5 kids. . . and one is adopted!"
While I thoroughly enjoy being tagged as young and having 5 kids is what brings me more joy than anything else, the ADOPTED made me want to gag!
I think you all know that I am totally passionate about adoption! The fact that there are 150+ Million orphans in the world makes me shudder. I long for them ALL to be in families. We would (and may) adopt again. I will talk about adoption to anyone who wants to listen.
BUT the way it was presented ALL WEEK was like we had either contracted a disease OR (worse) should be given some sort of a humanitarian award.
Many introductions went like this, "Honey, you remember the Dietrich's. They are the ones from ND - with 5 kids? And one is ADOPTED!"
We smile politely as they continue with "Oh! We remember you. How's the adoption working out? Is everything OK? Is he (long pause) all right?"
At first it was (sort of) amusing.
But eventually it became totally annoying.
You see, far too many people seemed to have an incredibly tough time believing that our young BLACK son who was born in Ethiopia (of all places) could be perfectly well adjusted.
"Just wait until he is a teenager." I was told.
Seriously.
That made me laugh.
Seriously.
I have 3 teenagers. They are delightful. They were also delightful as preschoolers. Along with delightful, they have each always been cranky, opinionated, rebellious, polite, active, inquisitive, articulate, and playful. Some good traits, some bad - but ALL traits are exaggerated in my teens. I am certain Joshua will be no different. None of them have become totally different people because of puberty, and I have NO fear that puberty will turn Joshua into some sort of rebellious monster. The idea, though, nearly turned me into a monster!
Anyway - what I realized this week is this:
We are SOOOOO over Joshua's adoption!
At long last, Joshua is just Joshua. He is all Dietrich, our son through and through. I feel no reason to describe him as anything in addition to our 5 year old son.
I get why that shocks some people. I actually nearly belly laugh when we show our "camp friends" a family photo. It is so stinking funny watching them try to think of an appropriate way to question who the black kid in the photo is. (Cruel maybe, but true!)
I do understand the curiosity. It sometimes leads to really good discussions. One grandma described the heart ache her kids experienced in working toward an adoption through the US foster care system. Really good discussion followed. A few people know someone who . . . and I can help answer questions about the adoption process, attachment, how to help, give reassurance that adoption is a blessing - or whatever.
Others, well, they just do not get it.
And they never will.
But the good news it that we do. And Joshua does. This adoption is SOOOO a thing of the past. It will always be a part of who he is, but just as a baby who is born extremely prematurely and hailed a "miracle baby" eventually becomes just another kid on the playground, Joshua is just Joshua.
For the record, I am not a fool! I do know that there will always be questions. He will always be a black kid in a white family. That alone gives people the "right" to question, at least they seem to think so. For me, being "over" his adoption comes with knowing he is as confident, as proud, as attached, and as "Dietrich a Dietrich" as any of the other kids in this home.
That realization is the best "souvineer" I have ever taken home from any trip!
Ironically, a story talking about adoption that mentions our family was printed in the local paper today. It was originally a part of the CHS student newspaper. I had no idea it would be run in the local paper - especially on THE day I write this post.
Life is funny!
If you want to read the story, click here.
