My Groom

While I always count my marriage as a blessing, many days it is something I take for granted.  It all becomes routine.  The endless talk of work and kids.  The shuffling of responsibilities.  Can you pick up Brenna or should I?  What would you like for supper?  How was your day?  Do you need anything from Walmart when I stop today?  Quick kisses good-bye as we rush to and from.

In these last weeks, as my world was changing, tilting, quaking, and shaking in such dramatic and unexpected ways, my marriage - my husband - has been the earthly glue that held me together.  His unlimited support allowed me to live the past month with no regrets.  When I called him (repeatedly) and said, "I feel like I HAVE to go and be with my family. . ." he supported me 100% every single time.  He never asked, "What about work or the kids or Wyatt or the wedding. . ."  He just said, "Go."

My going was totally inconvenient for him.  Sure, we had many people helping us, but even with help, he bore a burden with our office and family that we normally share.  He bought groceries, something I don't think he has done more than 2-3 times in the history of our family.  He brought our very energetic toddler with him to work.  He cleaned house.  He held me while I cried.  He let me sleep late because he knew I was exhausted. . . even though he had been manning the fort on his own and really needed a break himself.

On the day this photo was taken, Krissy's wedding day, Chad knew more than anyone how much I was struggling.  He rubbed my back until I fell asleep the night before the wedding. Throughout Krissy's wedding day, he knew I hid in the bathroom off and on to breathe deep and collect myself.  He made sure I ate.  He wrapped his arm around me and held me close at all the right times.  He understood the moments I was detached.  He understood the moments I was clingy.  He understood. . .

And after the heart ache of losing both of my grandparents only 14 days a part, along with the joy and excitement and stress of planning and celebrating the marriage of our daughter in the middle of it all. . . on the day I was to return to the office, he insisted on one more day off.  A day to relax.  Decompress.  Rest.  Rejuvenate.  Rather than worrying about tasks, he chose relationship.  Our relationship.  My sanity.  And gifted us with an afternoon on the water.

 I am so thankful that when life gets tough, really tough - Chad digs deep.  He becomes a strong base for me, for our family - holding us all together.  Though we no longer resemble our own wedding photo very much, he will forever be my groom.  The promises we made that day have been kept.  They have deepened, strengthened, and grown.  It has not happen out of coincidence.  It has happened one selfless decision at a time.

Love is much more a choice than a feeling.  I am so very grateful that Chad chooses to love and to serve.