Today I saw a simple devotional exercise posted on someone's FB wall. It is called "November Adoration." It gives an attribute of God followed by a scripture to focus on each day of the month. The idea is to take some time each day to focus on adoring my Savior, on recognizing His many incredible attributes, and on praising Him for who He is.
I decided this may be an interesting way to change up my November tradition just a bit. I am hoping to blog through this list daily - but we shall see how that goes!
Today the attribute is Provider God.
The verse is Genesis 22:7 - 8.
Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"
Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son." And the two of them went on together.
These verses caught me off guard.
I did not expect them when I read "Provider God."
Yet, I am so thankful they were the verses chosen to begin this month.
Years ago, God used this very story in a powerful way in my life.
It was in the midst of a very difficult time. Our business was not doing well financially. Summer was not profitable. Then came winter and we did not have enough work. I kept praying for snow, so that we could use snow removal as a way to keep our employees busy. It was a nearly snowless winter. Chad and I decided that as rough as things were, we should try to sell our home. So we put it on the market. We were totally unsure where we would go if it sold. In the midst of all this financial pressure and unrest, we received several letters. One was from our insurance company stating that our premiums would go up substantially, effective immediately. The second was a letter notifying us that our company books would be audited by the government. Oh, and due to a mix up at the bank, our monthly mortgage was going to increase by $1200 for the next year.
It was ugly. It was scary. It was bleak.
Just the year before we had thought that we had "made it." We moved into a larger home in a nicer neighborhood with better schools. Our business felt stable. After many years as business owners, I was finally starting to relax. As everything quickly seemed to be tumbling down around me only a year later, I was terrified, sad, anxious and disillusioned. God seemed so far away. I spent hours and hours seeking Him, but He seemed silent and distant. Where was God in all of this?
One night, God came to me in a dream. That has never happened before or since - but on this one occasion, God made Himself and His voice clearly known to me as I slept.
My dream was the story of Isaac and Abraham. I was Abraham. I was strapping my child down to be sacrificed. I was terrified. I did not want to listen or follow. I was weeping as I begged God for a different plan. Yet though I was heartbroken, I kept following. And then. . .
Just like in the real story, I saw the ram that God sent as a sacrifice in place of the boy.
In that moment, I clearly heard God tell me, "Alicia, you must lay down ALL of your Isaac's. Trust me with everything. It will be OK. I will provide."
I woke up feeling humbled, hopeful, and refreshed.
God did provide.
It was bleak for a long time, but slowly bill by bill our finances turned around. During the turn-around, that dream brought me much strength. While the situation did not change over night, it gave me the courage to keep inching forward. We survived the audit. Somehow we paid the insurance premium. God opened the door for me to start a home day care business so that I could remain at home with Brenna and also pay our mortgage. That business became a huge blessing in both finance and friendship. The family's I served remain dear friends to this day, and the children feel like nieces and nephews.
I do not wish to relive that time - but I am immensely thankful for the lessons learned.
God truly is our provider. He meets our needs financially. Yet even more importantly, He meets our needs emotionally. Had he not continued to whisper words of promise, reassurance, and truth during those days, I am not sure how I would have survived.
There have been other seasons of turmoil and difficulty in our business. There have been other times of turmoil and difficulty in family, friendship, faith, finance, etc. . . and always, always when I feel as though I have reached the end of my rope His words in that dream so long ago cry out to my heart.
"Lay down all of your Isaac's. Trust me with everything. It will be OK. I will provide."
Thank you Provider God for always, always providing exactly what I need. It may not be exactly what I think I need in the moment, and I am sorry for the times I complain and doubt. I fail You often. Thank you that You NEVER fail me. Thank you for faithfully being my Provider.
