"May the God of hope fill you with great joy and peace as you trust in him." Romans 15:13

Monday, December 30, 2013

39

I turned 39 yesterday.
39!
That means next year I will turn 40.  Strangely enough, 40 sounds great.  It sounds solid.  Grown up.  Settled.  I am looking forward to it!
 
However, I am also looking forward to this, my 39th year, very much. 
 
It will be a year of change - crazy combinations of changes.  That was clearly demonstrated by the way I spent my day yesterday! 
 
My aching hips always wake me up by 6:30 am.  I feel totally fantastic, with the exception that when I sleep my hips ache.  They always have when I am pregnant.  Once I am up for the day, most of the ache disappears.  I actually love weekend mornings because I can usually sneak in 30 minutes of quiet time, just me and God before Joshua wakes up.  It has become some of my favorite time of the week.
 
Yesterday, after my time in the Word, I spent some time on Amazon.  I ordered the baby's crib.  I will confess - 15 years ago, I never would have expected to be expecting a baby on my 39th birthday!  It was not part of my 15 year plan . . . then.  I am so thankful that God steps in and changes our hearts and plans.  This little kicker is a gift I am so gratefully and peacefully anticipating.  She is such a special blessing to me.  I absolutely marvel at this whole experience all the time.
 
Later in the day, I spent some more time on the computer placing orders.  This time it was an order for Krissy's senior pictures.  How crazy is it that on the very same day I ordered a baby crib and senior pictures for my oldest and youngest girls?  I know it sounds odd to most, but I just feel so incredibly blessed.  I absolutely LOVE all the ages and stages we have coexisting in our home.  It is SO much fun.
 
In addition to my online shopping, I went to church.  Had lunch with my parents. Took a "football nap" - which happens to be my favorite way to spend a wintery Sunday afternoon.  Ate the amazing birthday cake that Ms. Brenna Joy, baker extraordinaire, made for me. Waddled on the treadmill a bit. Read a newly downloaded book.
 
It was a peaceful, restful day.
 Brenna loves to bake.
And she is good at it!
 
She was determined to decorate the cake she made me.  I am NOT a cake decorator, so we do not have the proper decorating "stuff."  She made do with a Ziploc baggie, some patience, and her trademark creativity.
 I think the last time I had a cake with my name on it was when I turned 29!
 
Didn't she do a good job?
 
I'm thinking some proper cake decorating tools should be on her birthday list this spring.  Chad swears she will own a bakery someday.  Until then, we are happy to be her taste testers!
 Chad insisted that they sing, and I blow out the candles.
 
We should have video taped the kids' singing.  I have some very musical kids - but yesterday they did their best to sing off-key.  They were quite successful.  It was hilarious.
Joshua and the camera. . .
 
I can honestly tell you that when it comes to photos, little man is a bit of a stinker.  He only wants to take photos when and where he chooses.  More often than not he is pouting or trying to ruin a photo because they are not his idea, or because he is not the one holding the camera.  It has certainly decreased my love of photography.  I am hoping this stage passes before baby arrives. Sigh.
 
Anyway, once in a while his need for control works out for me.  He decided that he should take a picture of Jamison and I.  It is not the most flattering photo of me, but I can not remember the last time I posed for a photo with my tall son alone, so it is a keeper!
 I requested a photo of myself and all the kids.
Joshua was NOT impressed - but he did try (sort of) since it was my birthday.
 
He was very dedicated to making mommy's birthday a good day.  Many times I heard him tell his siblings that they should or should not do something since it was my birthday.  Minus the photo fettish, he is the sweetest and most thoughtful little guy.

 I also asked for a photo with Chad.
 
Though I prefer the top one, the bottom one describes my goofy husband much better!
Chad is fun and silly and wacky. . . and I am so glad.  Without him our household would be FAR to structured and serious!
Last photo of the day was Joshua's idea!
 
He drew me a picture.  (That alone is HUGE people!)  Joshua Gebeyehu CHOSE to use a marker and paper. . . all by himself!  It is a birthday gift for me.  It is he and I of course - and he drew my baby belly perfectly, don't you think?
 
Also notice his jack-o-lantern smile.  He lost another tooth yesterday.  That makes 8 lost teeth.  Krissy pulled it out for him.  I still can not believe that my blood hating oldest daughter plays dentist for the little guy,  but she does.  When his teeth get so wiggly they hurt, he goes to her and she pulls them for him.  Then he tosses his tooth in the trash.  No tooth fairy at our house!  Although Joshua is no longer terrified of Santa, he still thinks all those pretend games (like the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, Elf on a shelf, and Santa) are just silly. 
 
I am so excited for this year.  2013 or 38, whichever way I measure it, was one of my hardest years ever spiritually and emotionally.  It was a year in which I spent much time trying to figure out who and what God wanted me to be.  Discerning His plan for my life has been hard.  Mostly because it is filled with paradoxes.  In some areas His plan is exactly what I want, what I would choose.  In other areas, it is not.  I have learned much about the selfishness of my own ambitions this year.  That has been a painful journey.  I am learning more and more about submission - grateful, joyful, honest submission.  They have been good lessons, and the Lord has been meeting me, guiding me, pruning me, circumcising my heart.  They have also been painful lessons.  I think I am in a much better place this year than last.  My relationship with my Savior is deeper, better, richer.  My heart is more submissive - which also means it is WAY more peaceful.  And yet, I know the lessons are not over.  I know some major transitions are looming ahead.  A new baby!  Krissy heading to college!  Me going back to work and sending sweet "Raja" to day care!  Those will be some big tests.  And they are the ones I know about ahead of time.
 
So, 39 will not be easy.
 
And yet I am anticipating it with arms wide open.
 
My heart and mind are peaceful, accepting. . . ready (I think) for all the Lord has planned.