This month Mataya has become a bit of a momma's girl. OK. . . so actually, she's not. She IS aware of who she knows and who she does not know though. She has many favorites - me, Daddy, Rah Rah (Sierra), Joshua, Brenna, Grandma Donna, and Krissy. She also has a few other people she recognizes. But - she has began screamed in terror when handed to someone on the unfamiliar list.
I know some people hate this stage. I actually embrace it. My most dependent babies have grown to be my most independent and self-confident kids. Jamison truly let NO ONE other than me hold him and care for him during the majority of his first year. Brenna insisted on being held for the first 4 months of her life - every single minute. While it was inconvenient at the time, it has been a blessing in the long-term. Granting their needs for attachment and trust has been a wonderful investment.
The research I have done in attachment since adopting certainly supports this. So when Mataya shows preference to the people most familiar, I am a happy momma. Her intelligence and attachment are developing beautifully.
Jamison says she will be much more fun when she talks - but for now, we "force" him to greet Mataya once each day. Jay thinks baby talk is pure foolishness. Talking to his sister makes him quite uncomfortable, however talking to the dog (which sounds a lot like baby talk to me) is not. Ha!
I worked hard this month to get back into a real routine of running 5 times a week. Many runs went like this, Mataya in the stroller and Joshua on his bike. Multi-tasking is good!
Can you say precious?
Mataya loves it when I turn on the bubbles in Daddy's big tub for her!
Slowly, I am learning to respect this little one's appetite. She is NOT hungry in the morning. She will sleep from 9 pm to 7 or 8 am with only one bottle overnight. When she wakes up, she has no interest in food. For months I kept shoving her bottle at her all morning. I have finally stopped, trusting that she knows when she's hungry. As I type she is playing on the floor happily. She has been up for 2 hours, taken a 15 minute catnap, and has still not indicated she'd like to eat. From about noon on she eats every 3 hours. In the evening she clusters and eats every two hours or even less. She's got a mind of her own, but she is growing and happy - so momma needs to leave her be!
Early morning selfie for Krissy.
I try to send her pictures several times a week to keep us all connected.
This trend of babywearing in America kind of cracks me up. What is trendy in America is a survival skill in Africa. However, this sweet ring sling is truly the best. She adores it, and so do I. It is the snuggliest way to shop, make dinner, or clean my house. It is my favorite newborn product ever. I so wish I'd had it with the older kids. It is so simple and so natural in comparison to the more structured carriers I have used with tiny ones in the past, not to mention it is way more comfy for us both!
She truly wakes up THIS happy every single day!
Although school has not started yet, sports practices have. So, we have spent a lot of time sitting in the car waiting for Sierra this month.
She still enjoyed the bouncy chair for play this month. Adding different toys attached with plastic chains makes her so happy. She always, always notices the new toy with joy.
She melts my heart.
Krissy loves this tiny one. When she walks into our house for a visit her first words are, "Can I have the baby?" Mataya always remembers her big sister and enjoys the cuddles. Because Krissy leaves for Basic soon, she's allowed me to take more photos. We are trying to make sure Mataya remembers her when we go for graduation. Pictures are sure to help - especially if Krissy would decide on a hair color! Ha! She went back to blonde for a few weeks, but her hair is dark again now.
Thanks to Krissy, I got "grandma-ed" this month. Krissy got quite sick, so Mataya and I accompanied her to the doctor's office. As the nurse was asking her questions, it became clear that he assumed the baby was Krissy's. I noticed before Krissy did and explained that the baby was mine. He was so confused. He said, "I thought she (Krissy) was yours?" When I laughed and explained that they both are mine, he did not know what to think! It was quite funny. I know some people would be insulted, but I was not. I understand. My mother-in-law was younger than I am now when we had Krissy. My mom was just a tiny bit older than I am when she became a grandma. Very few people would consider the age range we have chosen to have in our kids, but for me - having this tiny one at 39 was the most wonderful thing. The pregnancy was precious. Having a baby again brings me so much joy. Additionally, I believe God knew I would need the peace and hope and joy a baby brings this spring/summer. She is such a blessing. Her daddy agrees. Having a "dessert baby" or a "trailer" as my dad calls her, is delightful.
Mataya has no interest in movement. Why should she? If she has a need, a few grunts sends one of us running. Sierra is trying to train her. (It has not been too successful though! Ha!)
She does have an interest in sitting up, however. She loves to play in the Bumbo - especially while I am cooking or working in the kitchen.
Selfies with siblings.
Last Saturday was gloomy and rainy. Mataya, Daddy and I spent all morning in bed. We did some playing, some snuggling, some TV watching and some sleeping. It was a sweet time.
Teething?
Not sure. She certainly has the tell tale drool and loves to have her hands in her mouth. But she's not fussy and is sleeping well. Time will tell!
Sorry teenage Mataya. I love a nakey baby!
Though she does not roll all the way over, she does roll side to side these days. She likes to figure out how to get to out of reach toys. . . if they are not too far away that is. She definitely appreciates it when we switch up her toys. She notices every detail.
Yep - he still adores her!
I call this her baby circus. It is still a little big for her, her legs are not quite long enough to jump, so she only likes it for short stints.
Hmmmm. Other developments this month? She loves to talk. Her new favorite noise is a loud gasp. She thinks it is the funniest way ever to get our attention.
She has also learned to fall asleep on her own. I lay her in her bed, turn on the noise machine for 15 minutes, give her a pacifier, and she is out. She learned this skill so nicely. She never fussed for more than 10 minutes and even then she complained more than anything. I would go in every 3 to 5 minutes to give her the paci back, soothe her with my words and a hand on her chest, and leave before she was asleep. I have rarely had to go in more than once.
Deciding to transition from rocking to self-soothing was hard for me. I loved rocking her. However, I began to notice that I was spending more time rocking her to sleep than I was playing with her. As she became more and more aware, the chaos that is our house kept her up and overtired. Additionally she woke up looking for me soon after I would lay her down.
Self-soothing has been a win, win. She is more rested and happier than ever, and momma has more time to play with her.
I know allowing a baby to fuss a bit in their bed has mixed reviews. Next to breast vs. bottle it is the most debated issue in early parenting. Here are my thoughts. When Mataya was tiny, she hated her car seat. Hated as in scream, scream, scream. We did all we could to make her car trips comfortable, but removing her from her carseat, which was what she really wanted, was not possible. It is safest for a baby to be in an car seat, so that is what we did. With practice, Mataya has learned to like her carseat. She plays in it and falls asleep when she's tired. It is no longer an issue.
No one would criticize me for "making" her cry in her carseat. It is what needed to happen for her to be safe.
I feel much the same way about learning to self-soothe in her crib. Wrestling her to sleep and having an exhausted needy baby who never got enough rest during the day was not allowing her to thrive. Though she needed a bit of practice before she could fall asleep all on her own, the result has been good for us all. (And for the record, we did not allow her to "redline." Fussing/complaining certainly happened in short bursts, but nothing like the screaming she did in her carseat as a newborn. She was not completely joyful during this transition, but we seldom embrace change, even when it is for our own good.) Two weeks into this self-soothing, she is the happiest and most rested she has ever been.
I am lucky with this tiny one. She is very sweet, mild mannered, and adaptable. God has paired her temperament perfectly with our very active family. I am so, so thankful.
As I watch her grow and change so quickly I have to remind myself daily to celebrate her accomplishments, rather than mourn another stage left behind. I so adore having a baby around. (In fact I have been praying about what God might want to do with that passion.) It is essential that this baby has my blessing as she grows and changes, so rather than cry when I pack away her tiniest clothes and the sleep and play she no longer uses, I choose to celebrate the way she is growing and changing.
I think that is my greatest challenge with Mataya. I have experienced these stages, they pass so quickly. I am currently experiencing the full-on letting go of my oldest, and it stinks. It would be so easy to hold Mataya a bit too tightly, to baby her and keep her littler than necessary. So easy. Sigh. So easy. Cherishing these stages as the blessing they are, while not holding her back, is a tough balance.
