As I parent Mataya, I am reminded that one-year-olds are one of my very favorite ages . . . to observe from afar or to babysit for a couple of hours! However, one is not my favorite age to parent!
(This is not a complaint! I adore Mataya The energy and joy she brings into our home is priceless! However, I humbly and honestly realize that one-year-olds stretch my parenting skills more than many other ages!)
One is hard for me because tiny tots long to be independent - but they are just not very capable. They know exactly what they want. . . all the time. . . and yet they lack the communication skills to clearly explain their desire.
Recently, Mataya's behavior illustrated this very fact in a way that has taught me so very much!
It had been a noisy morning. (also known as a morning with many tantrums)
Mataya was frustrated, and I was too.
I just could not figure out what she wanted as she started into tantrum number 27. (or maybe 5 - but it felt like 27! Ha!)
I picked her up, looked into her eyes, and said, "Mataya. I need you to use your words. Please tell momma what you need!
I waited.
I could tell she was thinking. She was trying to calm herself.
Finally she took a deep breath, paused, and said boldly and clearly, "CRY!!!"
Oh, she broke my heart.
While I was feeling frustrated because she could not explain herself, she was, too.
CRY was the very best she had. She was not crying to throw a fit or to manipulate, but because that was the only way she could think of to communicate her feelings.
My poor baby.
So, I grabbed her precious blankey, and we snuggled up in the rocking chair until she was calm and giggling again. Some quiet time rocking, a couple of songs hummed, and she and I were both new girls.
I have thought of that morning often, because it so clearly explains life.
No matter our age, there are times that we are doing everything we know how to do to communicate our needs. Our communication skills are not always clear to others, and we can easily be misunderstood. Sometimes we are judged unfairly. Sometimes we judge unfairly.
Mataya's lesson to me was that I am commanded to dose out more grace, more love, more understanding. I am trying to remember to smile, snuggle, encourage . . . to bless the people around me - even the ones that I do not understand. Because even though it may not look like it to me, they are probably doing the best they can.
