As I fill out all the paperwork necessary to bring Joshua home I am struck by how very different this process is than the conception/pregnancy we have experienced with our birth children. One form is making sure we are aware that he could have any number of very scary problems from mental disorders to diseases. We sign and say we will love him even if the worst happens.
A few pages later we "design" our son. We fill in the blanks about what age, gender, and race child we will accept. Then we check off which "conditions" we would accept. Would we accept a child with a birthmark that would require surgery? What about one whose mother had mental problems? What if he were missing a finger? How about a club foot?
It is all so crazy! I feel worried as I acknowledge all the possible problems he could have. What if he does? Then I become frustrated with the form where I decide which type of child would be acceptable to us. As I carried Krissy, Jay, Sierra, and Brenna I knew there were any number of possibilities. Although I hoped and prayed for intelligent, healthy, perfectly formed children, I never doubted I would love and accept them if they were not. It is so odd to think this time we will receive a referral, look at a picture, view some medical information, and accept or deny a child.
I am comforted by the words from Psalms 68:6 "He sets the lonely into families." I believe God has this all figured out. He will set Joshua into our family, and he will fit as perfectly as the rest of us. He won't be perfect, but he will fit perfectly. So until I see God complete this miracle, I will keep filling out forms.
