I first saw this video on another blog. It really made an impact on me. Then Chad and I went to the movie "The Blind Side" last night. I can not post that on my blog, but go see it. It is beautiful and entertaining and thought provoking. It is a must see in my book.
Anyway, I am left feeling kind of stingy. Chad and I do not have a ton of extra time and money, but we do our best to share what we have. However, I often am stingy about opening myself up to love deeply. I find my heart holding back just a little. After all really putting my whole heart, all my love, into something is PAINFUL. I am sure to be hurt deeply at some point. My friends, family, employees, and children are sure to disappoint me. They are sure to misunderstand my intentions, judge me and find me lacking. Keeping up a little wall, holding back just a tiny bit, is so much safer.
Now don't get me wrong, I do love and I love deeply. But I am not sure I couldn't love more deeply, more abundantly, less self-protectively. So that is what I aspire to do this year, LOVE. Take big risks and love even when I know I will most likely get hurt in the process. Because as a very wise 13 yr old once told me, "Alicia, if it is not worth getting hurt over is it really worth it at all?"
I added a couple blog links to my blog last week. One is a blog called Ordinary Hero. Ordinary Hero is a non-profit organization started by a mom. Her motto is Change the World For One. Don't you love that? Think on it a minute. At first your mind may go strictly to adoption since that is what started my blog in the first place. But think deeper. We can each change the world for one person every day. Maybe we listen to the waitress' story about her broken down car. Maybe you tell your child it is OK when they break your favorite coffee mug, and mean it. Maybe you donate money to a charity you love. Maybe you treat yourself to an ice cream cone. Changing the world for one does not have to be a huge thing, it is more about looking for ways to bless others. To risk LOVING them.
My secondary goal for this year is to spend more time investing in things that will have a long-term impact. I spend a lot of time scrubbing floors, dusting, wiping counters, ect... being surrounded by a tidy environment makes me feel good. But does it really have a long-term impact? I sometimes sacrifice time working out, really listening to the people around me, and all kinds of other fun things in order to do the little things that make me feel calmer and more peaceful for the moment. So I will work at petting my dog more and sweeping up his hair less because I know when it all has been said and done I will be more grateful for the relationships I have invested in than having a tidy house. Its going to be hard for me though, I really love a clean kitchen! (Sad but true)
I am so excited for 2010. It is a year that will change me forever. Please continue to bless me with your love and prayers. I have a feeling I will need them more than ever before.
