Yesterday I took Joshua to the doctor for the first time. Our pediatrician had wanted to see him last week but I did not feel like he was ready. I am SO glad I waited. We did a very basic exam yesterday. The doctor took height, weight, head circumference, checked his ears, temperature, tummy, etc... Just the very basics. Our goal was to get him a tiny bit acclimated to the clinic, make sure our trusted pediatrician did not see any big red flags, and leave with NO owies.
I am happy to report the doctor was very pleased with Joshua's overall condition. He has gained 9 lbs. since January and grown almost 3 inches. Our doctor has recommended waiting 6 mo. to do any further poking and prodding. He said that to do a bunch of tests will not be good for Joshua's bonding and that he has found that after 6 mo. of good nutrition and exercise most of the things we would find now just disappear. If we notice anything at all that concerns us, we will check into it. Otherwise, we will do some blood tests and start immunizations in 6 mo.
I was very grateful that our doctor made that recommendation as I had planned to advocate for at least a few months between homecoming and yucky doctor stuff. When he suggested 6 mo. I was thrilled.
I believe that his deciding factor was Joshua's obvious and very traumatic reaction to part of the exam. When we arrived, he was hesitant of the scale. He clung to me with a mighty grip. The wonderful nurse immediately took steps to reduce the stress for him. She allowed me to hold him on the scale and then subtracted my weight to get his. He relaxed some and sat rigidly on my lap while the nurse and I visited. When it came time for the nurse to swipe his forehead with the thermometer, he absolutely panicked. That action must have brought back some sort of trauma in his young life. He threw his head back, closed his eyes, and kind of moaned/kind of cried, while sweating profusely. The best description I have of it is a trance-like place he put himself in to be away from the current situation. I have seen similar reactions before to extreme stress. It is unlike anything I have seen before in other children and so very sad. I can only wonder what the root memory is. He did a good job of allowing himself to be calmed, within 15 minutes he was back to talking and interacting with me.
He responded very favorably to the doctor. He really works hard to get male attention in comparison to women who as a rule he is pretty withdrawn around. Once the doctor started paying attention and examining Sierra, Joshua thought he needed to be in the loop as well.
The doctor gave Gebeyehu a toy monkey and came in after the exam with his monkey puppet to say good-bye to Gubs (as his siblings like to call him). When we got home he told his daddy about the monkey in a very animated combination of Amharic and English words. It was really hilarious.
We ate lunch and by the time I went to lay him down for a nap, I had kind of forgotten about the trauma reaction Gebeyehu had at the clinic. However it was very clear that the fear that was triggered was far from forgotten by my son. It took nearly 3 hours before he slept peacefully. We rocked and snuggled. As soon as he would start to fall asleep he would absolutely panic, push himself up, and cry uncontrollably. He finally slept peacefully. Bedtime was much less noisy, but he did not sleep peacefully until after 11. He would doze off and wake calling for me 10 minutes later for 2 hours. He was so tired but also so insecure. He slept all night and has been much more "normal" today.
I hesitate to share with you some of his tough moments. And I will choose to keep most of them silent. But I also want to be honest. I read so many blogs and children dealing with their past trauma is not discussed. Readers could be lead to believe that once a child is in a family the past is magically cured and forgotten. While, I am so proud of our sweet son and how amazingly well he is adjusting to a whole new world, I also want no one to be deceived. He has emotional work to do in order to heal. "Gotcha Day" was a first date, a fresh start. It was wonderful and oh so beautiful. But wounds take time to heal, they do not just magically disappear.
He is also having a lot of FUN! So I end with some FUN pictures of our little man.
Remember my mother's day gift? After 3 tries, Gebeyehu was ready to sit in it. (3 is typically how many times he needs to see something new before he will try it.) Brenna, Joshua, and I went on a bike ride/jog earlier this week. It was fun to try out my muscles again.
My friends Ellie and Abby let Joshua use their Elmo car. He loves to drive it. Notice how he takes after his daddy... driving with phone in hand already! Thanks Ellie and Abby!
Chad is trying to make Joshua a Skillet fan. He showed him a video of the band. JG just giggled.
He now gets this close to Riley. Riley gets to come to the top of the steps. Joshua likes to know where Riley is, but I would not say they are friends yet. Riley has been very patient.
We finally have a driver at our playground. We installed this steering wheel when we (Ok so really Chad) built the play area 4 years ago. It has hardly been used until Joshua came home. Our Joshua loves cars and points out the window, excited to drive Gebeyehu Macheena.
