You know what that means, right?!?
Yep, the Lord gently whispering to go deeper, submit to Him more fully.
And do you know what verse kept coming to mind, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22.
Not exactly a culturally acceptable verse. But Biblical.
So, I started praying that God would allow me to see when and how I take control of our household rather than allowing my husband to lead. Funny thing. When you pray, He listens.
Funnier thing. I can be a very unwilling student, even when I have asked for the lesson.
(Big, long, sigh.)
Last week Chad and I had a decision to make. We had signed a six month contract with our realtor. When we listed our home we did it with the purest of intentions. We really felt like it was more than we needed. We truly wanted to down-size a bit in order to free up more money each month to use for things more important than a big house payment.
However, in the six months we had our house for sale, we NEVER found a single home that would meet the needs of our family AND reduce our mortgage. We were also TOTALLY unable to find a lot on which we could build.
I was
To give a bit of background on the intensity of our situation, Bismarck is growing like wild fire. It is one of the rare places where the economy is wonderful. Homes are selling like hotcakes. There is very, very little to buy. Our realtor shared that one day last week a home came on the market. It was shown about 15 times in the first 3 hours. They received 3 offers. It was sold to the highest bidder that same day.
There is also NOTHING to rent.
There are also NEXT TO NO lots to buy - especially because we want to build our home ourselves. The VAST majority of the lots available are builder owned. Those builders will only sell you a lot if you hire them to build your home.I could muster to keep our home on the market for the length of our contract.
Add to those measly odds the fact that we have teenage children, who desperately wanted to stay in their current school, and you have yourself a bit of a situation (as Krissy would say.)
It took all the faith I could muster to keep our home on the market for the length of our contract. I was counting down the days until it expired. My whole being wanted to have a plan that felt secure and safe. The way I saw it, God had not opened ANY doors and He had allowed us to maintain possession of our home for six months. Those facts alone must mean we should remain where we are, right?
Chad agreed. . .
Until 3 days before our contract was to expire.
Then he dropped some very unexpected news. He informed me that he really thought we should leave our house on the market.
I was not happy. (That may just be the understatement of the year.)
I was angry, confused, and very scared. I could not understand why he could think such a thing. There was certainly every indication that sooner than later our home would sell, and NO indication that we would have anywhere to move.
His solution, "We could live in the camper inside the shop." was NOT well received.
Seriously ladies, can you imagine living in a camper for an extended amount of time with 5 kids and a golden retriever? ME EITHER.
So, we reasoned. We argued. I cried.
And finally I realized that like it or not, I am called to submit to my husband, as to the Lord.
Have I done some "crazy things" because I am sure the Lord is asking me to?
Yes.
Would I submit to my husband (as to the Lord)?
So I signed the papers to renew our contract with the realtor, while informing my husband that, "I would not be moving unless he had some sort of plan, even if we got asking price for our home. And I am SERIOUS!"
Yeah, I know, really submissive. (not)
So, I kept praying.
Over the weekend I tried to explain my very real fear of being homeless. He listened. That helped.
I kept praying. That helped.
I truly tried to trust in God and my husband, for real.
Saturday our home was showed (shown?) three times. I cleaned and spit-shined with a lovely attitude. I texted a couple friends and asked them to remind me that "God is in control and I love my husband." They did. And they prayed for me. That helped.
I would love to tell me that I was in a place of perfect peace, but I was not.
I was, however, humbled and teachable. I realized that I was not pleasing God by distrusting my husband's leadership. To the contrary, I was disobeying Him.
So, I worked and worked and worked at letting go and trusting.
And guess what happened yesterday?
My brilliant, God-fearing, loving, and leading husband purchased a lot. (I am shedding a few humble tears here.) He not only purchased a lot for our family, but God lead him to the perfect lot. The lot that we had been hoping and dreaming of. It allows our middle school and high school children to remain at their current schools. It is 1.6 acres, which will allow us a detached garage someday to house the boat, Chad's hunting stuff, and his collector car. It has mature trees and some little tiny ones, too. AND although it is technically "in the country" there is NO gravel.
Wow! God IS in control. He delights in both teaching us and in giving us the desires of our hearts, in His time.
Do we still have many hurdles to jump? Yes.
Our home could sell tomorrow. We could need to be out in 60 days. It will take about 6 months to build (maybe longer). That would mean 4 months or more in the camper.
We continue to consider adding children to our home.
Life is full and crazy and rich and filled with unknowns.
But God continues to prove over and over and over and over and over, that He is in control. He will open and close doors in accordance to His will.
So, I do not worry. Today, I celebrate. Because although the next bit will be crazy, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is here leading the way.
