We have been camper dwellers for 4 days now, and I will confess that the first night was ugly!
Typically, I have myself so mentally prepared for a transition to be TERRIBLY TERRIBLE, that when the actual transition takes place it is MUCH SIMPLER than I expect.
Not this time.
The first night I arrived at the camper ahead of Chad. I had two tired, dirty kids, and a fairly good attitude. I unloaded a bunch of stuff from the megga momma mobile while the kids road bike happily. Then Brenna wiped out and I carried her crying self in to take a shower. Joshua was NOT ready to come inside which meant he was crying too, and it just went downhill from there.
The water pressure was like non-existent.
Think slow trickle.
Like 20 minutes later we had 2" of water in the bottom of the tiny tub.
Add to that whining kids
and a huge mess to be put away into a tiny space
and you get a grumpy momma.
I tried to calm down, but I was panicking.
I was thinking that there is NO way I want to live here for a week, yet I WILL be stuck here for 2 - 3 months. I was not yelling and sreaming, but my body language made my frusteration very clear.
I went to bed, praying I would wake up in the morning with a better attitude.
The next morning,
I took a fairly warm shower under the very small trickle.
Not a great start to the day.
I got breakfast ready for Krissy
and then blew a breaker before I could feed the rest of us.
Krissy got a flat tire so she took my van,
which had all the paperwork I needed to complete my Creative Construction tasks,
and I could not find the second set of van keys in order to retrieve the stuff while she was in class.
By 9:00 am I was in a BAD mood.
The rational part of my brain fully realized that the chain of dificulty was NOT a BIG DEAL.
BUT the primitive fight or flight part of my brain had taken over and I was wishing to FLEE!
I spent the morning cleaning the old house and praying.
Asking God over and over again to forgive my heart for being bitter and entitled.
I wish I could tell you that by noon, I was over it.
I was not.
I was still struggling
and still confessing.
However slowly, really, really slowly
my heart was and is softening.
I am able to see all that I HAVE
rather than
what I feel ENTITLED to have.
So with my thankful heart, let me show you all that God has provided for myself and my family during this time in our camper castles.
Where I once saw a fridge that is much too small to hold "enough" food,
I now give thanks that I have a working refrigerator.
Where I mourned the loss of a dshwasher,
I now give thanks that I have a sink in which to wash dishes in clean hot water.
Where I once grumbled about the lack of personal space,
I now give thanks that each of our children have beds of their own.
Where I once saw a BIG lack in counter space,
I now give thanks for a mirror, light, outlet, and sink.
Where I have many times grumbled about tripped breakers as I slowly learn how much can be plugged in before they blow,
I now give thanks for electricity.
Where I once grumbled about low water pressure and water that tasted like a garden hose,
I now give thanks for as much clean water as I wish for.
(And it no longer tastes like garden hose, for which I am thankful as well! White hoses, found by my brilliant husband, fixed that! Also changing the shower head has much improved the shower quality as well.)
Where I once grumbled about it being too HOT to tolerate,
I now choose to give thanks for A/C that keeps up - almost all the time.
Where I once questioned what my husband was thinking, moving this family of 7 into campers,
I now give thanks for all that he does to make it as comfortable as possible.
Including using this "honey wagon" to dump the waste water tanks every couple of days so that we can use the toilets and take all the showers we wish.
I am disappointed in myself that even after all I have learned, I still have moments when I battle entitlement. Even living in campers, I have so much more than women living in third world countries. The fact that I have clean water, air conditioning, refrigeration, and electricity make my life so much easier than the lives of most of the women in the world.
I have more than enough.
I suspect that in the coming months I will continue to battle entitlement issues. I know when someone today suggested that Sept. 15 was really not that far away, and perhaps it will take a bit longer than that for the house to be completed, I nearly started hyperventilating. Nearly.
Then I chose thankful thoughts.
I am learning.
I do not want to live a life of entitlement.
I want to choose gratitude.
Every day.
All the time.
How about you?
