How much can one family of 6 pack into a weekend? More that we should!
Heading out of town with 4 kids is always crazy, but when you add to that the always unexpected demands of a business it gets even crazier. Friday as we were frantically packing and getting set to go a few things popped up. First was deer sausage. Chad and his brother (with as little help from me as I could get away with) made deer sausage last week, and it had to be smoked and packaged and frozen before we left, all 100 lbs. So we worked a little, packed a little, and worked with sausage a lot. Then, our employees informed us that there were materials they were running low on. Could we pull a trailer and pick them up? We don't usually pull a flatbed trailer with my Tahoe so we had some hitch issues, etc to deal with. We had also agreed to deliver a puppy at our first stop. (Chad's mom has German Shorthair pups she is selling, so we played FedEx.) By the time we hit the road we were already running behind and out of breath.
We found the hotel, delivered the pup to his new owner, and got the trailer dropped off in the nick of time. The really important event of the day was yet to come. Lindsey, our home study agent, met us at the hotel for our second meeting. The kids swam and we visited with Lindsey.
What was Home Study Act 2 all about? More questions! Like...
What do you think the strengths/weaknesses are in your marriage?
How do you make decisions together?
What to you do if you disagree?
What types of discipline do you use?
What types of values do you hope to instill in your kids?
How do you work to do so?
What types of responsibilities do your kids have at home?
Do the kids have any behavior/learning/social/developmental/health problems?
We talked a little about discipline and bonding/attachment with Joshua.
I realized that I have unintentionally been protecting myself a little. I have read and researched for hours about adoption in general, and about Ethiopia - trying to learn what Joshua's world is like. (I just finished a book called There is No Me Without You, by Melissa Fay Greene. It is a great combination of personal stories, and a journalistic view of the social/political/health problems in Ethiopia. It is a BIG book and heartbreaking, but also eye-opening and challenging. I would recommend it.) However, I have not allowed myself to dive into the issues like attachment and discipline or even health care. It almost feels too personal to start thinking about how we will parent HIM. When it becomes that personal it makes it hard to be patient and a little detached. By staying a little detached, I protect my heart from the wait.
Anyway, meeting with Lindsey on Friday made me excited and curious about how parenting Joshua will be different than parenting our first 4 at 3yrs old. Each of our kids are very different from each other and thus we have parented them differently to an extent, but they have all been attached to us from the beginning. Lindsey talked a little about discipline being different at first with Joshua. Since he will not be attached, he may not feel as upset if he disappoints us. He may also feel more upset than our first 4 kids would have in the same situation, like if he disappoints us we will not want him. All makes perfect sense when you take the time to think about it. I am looking forward to really investigating this topic!
We also talked about our attachment with him. Some parents feel an instant attachment and love for their adopted children and others need some time for that to develop. She reassured us that if the first moment we see Joshua, we feel nervous, uncertain, fearful, or whatever, that it is OK. Bonds take time. Love is a choice more than a feeling. (I tell you all this because you will be his family. You need information about bonding with him too - and permission to take some time to fall in love if need be.)
We set a goal with Lindsey to have all our documents turned in to IAN before Dec. 15! We should be on the wait list before Christmas! I guess I can start reading those bonding books.
So Saturday we just played. We arrived at my friend Cassie's house at 1:00. Cassie is as close to a sister as I had growing up. She is a rare friend in life. We do not have a lot in common if you dissect our lives, but in my heart she is my sister. No matter how rarely we see each other we can pick up where we left off. We spent the afternoon catching up. We met her boyfriend, played with her dogs, got a tour of her veterinary clinic, and went out for dinner.
After dinner we were off to the main event. The CONCERT! Let me tell you it was LOUD LOUD LOUD!!!!! Like so loud it was physical. Not only did it assault my ears, but the bass hit so hard it made it feel weird to breath. Chad and the kids were in heaven. I am not quite the rocker they are, but I had a great time watching them. When Skillet finally came out the crowd was deafening. I have never heard another as loud. You should have heard my Brenna cheering. It was a riot. And Chad... he was 17 again for an hour or so. The band was filled with truly amazing performers and they put on quite a show. They had 2 platform lifts that carried the guitarists high in the air at times. They had LED light shows, fireworks, and fireballs. Literally balls of fire that shot into the air. Not even a second after they were fired you could feel the heat blast your face. I can not imagine how hot it was on that stage! The other thing that was very unique was that they used a violinist and a cellist on several songs. I do not think there is another heavy metal band that does that. Let me tell you that violinist could rock! It was crazy! Brenna made it until the last song. Then she sat down on her chair and fell asleep. I tried to wake her because I had promised that I would wake her up for "Monster" her favorite song, but it was impossible. She even slept through the crowds encore cheering, which was incredible loud, and the 2 encore songs and fireworks. A lady who was sitting behind me with her youth group kids (a fellow oldie) could not believe how much fun Brenna and Sierra had. She was shocked that they knew all the words to every song. Chad figures it is a testament to his quality parenting.
We dragged everyone out of bed by 7:30 this morning so we could have breakfast with Chad's grandparents before heading home. We started for home by 10. Stopped to pick up and load the trailer with steel studs, and made it home at about 7PM. The kids were troopers every step of the way. I am so proud of them! They all worked hard to help load the trailer, and they all unpacked and got their clothes put away and the Tahoe cleaned out as soon as we got home.
