I have been thinking today about how many story lines go on at the same time within us. While I truly and honestly share about how my kids are and the fun things we have going on, I am simultaneously feeling like these cupcakes...
SPLAT!
Splat is how our morning started. Pictured above are the cupcakes that I baked after Brenna's family party last night. The cupcakes I did not feel like baking. The cupcakes I chose to bake because it costs like $2.50 to bake cupcakes and $15.00 to buy them. Those same cupcakes were dropped (by me) on the way out the door this morning! So our morning began with a mad dash to the grocery store to buy more (expensive) cupcakes.
Splat also describes my attitude. I am tired. I am feeling yucky. I have too much work to do. Some business related things have been stressful the last weeks. I have to lead a lesson for the kids tonight that I do not like and as of yet I have no idea how to rewrite it to make it something I feel good about. I also do not really want to try. I certainly do not want to dance and sing praise songs with the kids at church tonight. What I want is to climb back in bed!
But almost no one would know how I am really feeling because life goes on. This morning, I smiled at the cashier at the grocery store and wished her a happy day while I grumbled inside. I went to Brenna's classroom and did a project with her class with a smile and a lot of (fake) energy.
I will do my best to make a fun birthday dinner for Brenna tonight. I will do my best to make sure she knows how much we love and appreciate her. I will do my best to lead a worship time and deliver a lesson for the kids tonight with grace, joy, and enthusiasm.
In the end which is the truth? The smile and energy or the tiredness and grumbling?
I think they both are. I think choosing to rise above yourself is what life is all about. The truth is I WANTED to be in Brenna's classroom this morning. I am glad I was there, even though I did not feel like it in the moment.
So today, I am choosing to serve in my grumpiness, stress, and weakness. I confess that to you because looking at the pictures of my smiling kids is truth - there is much joy in my life. However, there is also a story behind the story in my life, just like there is in yours.
