- Food/eating
- Language
His large motor skills have come so far. He now runs, jumps, rides bike like a champ, and climbs. He is still a little weak and tires quickly. He is also a little slow and uncoordinated, but as his daddy says "maybe he is just not an athlete." Large motor skills are something I am still aware of, I try to get him as many opportunities to run, jump, and climb as possible - but he is not longer WAY behind!
Small motor skills are really super - provided he has had some experience. For example, the first time we did puzzles I was very concerned. But when we tried them again a few days later he did super. So now that the weather has cooled off I have been working more with small motor things like puzzles, playdough, painting, cutting, building, etc... I am not worried about it long term, however I do recognize that he needs a lot of opportunities to practice!
Joshua has started to LOVE reading! Oh, how I love to read to kids - so I am thrilled about this development. He is very detailed and asks many questions about each picture on the pages. He learns well from books, so when we are going to experience something new I have started reading about it first and it helps him prepare. (He has liked books from the start, but now that his language is so good he loves them so much more because they make more sense.) This week his favorite books are all from the 5 Little Monkey series.
Joshua also loves to pretend and is (you guessed it) very detailed. He keeps his pretend keys in his pocket when he gets in and out of his firetruck. Every one of his little people figurines have names and he remembers which is which every time we play. One of his favorite things to pretend is that my treadmill is a boat. He likes to hook a rope to the grab bars and pretends to wakeboard like Jamison.
Joshua now loves to play with friends. His friend Drew came to play this morning and the boys had a ball. I was totally uninvolved! The boys played and played. They sorted out disagreements by themselves, while I opened mail and filed! It was awesome! He consistently takes turns well, shares well - yet sticks up for himself and is not a push-over! He has come a long way from the little boy that asked me to take him home when a little girl at the park tried to play!
While he does super with kids, we are working on interacting with adults. Sometimes when he is around adults he is comfortable with, the "Joshua Show" begins. The "Joshua Show" as Chad and I have deemed it occurs when Joshua overtakes the room. A constant stream of "look at me!" followed by any trick, toy, or story he can think of follows. While he is cute, he is demanding inappropriate amount of attention. The "Joshua Show" also exhausts him.
So... we have been talking a lot about sharing and taking turns with people. Last week when Joshua and I had lunch with Sharlene, he began to overtake the conversation and I quietly reminded him that we take turns. Joshua ignored me and kept right on talking with no regard to anyone else. I then gently placed my hand over his mouth and reminded him it was not his turn to talk. He gave me sad eyes and buried his head in my lap. I was a little worried he was wounded, but continued talking with my friend. When the conversation came to a pause, I invited Joshua to talk. He popped his head up and told his story. After that he was much more in control. We have had several other similar interactions since then. He is getting it! Today when I told him it was my turn to talk to Drew's mom, he stood quietly and waited for me to tell him it was his turn. When I was laying him down for a nap he proudly told me, "Joshua take turns with mommy. No mommy (gesture his hand over his mouth)! Joshua listened!" We celebrated his success together with a big high 5 and cuddle!
Sleep continues to improve. Joshua insists that mommy put him to bed, but as Chad and I realized the other night, the older kids were only put to bed by me for the first year of their life. I nursed them and then lay them down to sleep. (While Joshua is of course not nursing) HIs emotional age and needs are certainly not as "caught up" as his motor skills, so it is really not that surprising that he wants mommy at bedtime.
This month he is Brenna's shadow. He wants to do and copy absolutely everything Brenna does. Interestingly, he also gets jealous of Brenna. If I hug or hold Brenna that is hard for him. If I hang up a piece of Brenna's art he will sometimes complain. He is very concerned about the thought of mommy putting Brenna to bed. I often remind him that mommy loves Brenna and Joshua.
I am increasingly confident in Joshua's attachment to me. It is something we have worked hard at! It is something I am still very protective of. I am very cautious. I have not left him with anyone other than Chad, but I suspect this month we will sneak away for a cup of coffee and leave him with Krissy. If that goes well (ie. he is not freaked out and/or does not reject us when we return) we will start building from there. I do not want him to be a clingy momma's boy, but I have also worked very hard to capture his heart and do not want to go backwards so we will continue to take things slowly! (I know this attachment stuff is the hardest part to understand from the outside looking in, but I just have to assure you that a momma knows when her child's heart is not her own. Although Joshua has liked me from the start, his heart has been only partially mine. He has been holding onto an increasingly smaller piece day by day. We rejoice that he continues to give us more and more, but will continue to be very careful until his heart is truly settled. I also confess that I did not totally buy some of the attachment talk until I felt it... So keep trusting me!)
One of the reasons I waited 5 months to have Joshua's video made was that I hope it projects that it has taken time for him to truly be home. While his "gotcha day" was one of the most memorable, sweet, wonderful, amazing, God-ordained moments of my life, it has taken time for his heart to be truly home. I want prospective adoptive parents to be aware of that reality. The work only BEGINS when you receive your child. Parenting a hurting child is a labor of faith, hope, and love. It has been a most exhausting, exciting and rewarding experience to truly welcome every inch of my son HOME!
