While many things about last year were beyond difficult, the one thing that was SIMPLE was that I knew without a doubt that we were headed on the path God had laid before us. That certainty was a thing of beauty and peace. No matter how hard things became I was totally sure that we were doing what He had called us to do. I did not know then, nor do I know now, why so many things were difficult. I suppose the simple (and complex) answer is that the enemy will do anything and everything he can to throw us off the path the Lord has called us to walk.
Today, things are much easier. I have been able to be mostly at home for the last eight months. That time has been refreshing and healing. I have had more time to spend with my kids, more time to keep our family life in order, more time to talk to God. I am so much more peaceful and rested that I have been in a long time. It feels wonderful.
It also feels just the tiniest bit empty. I know that there are many plans that God still has in mind for me. My heart is full of ideas. Maybe I should organize a mission trip for our church. Maybe I should just keep it simple and go on a mission trip somebody else organizes. Maybe I should be raising money to build wells- oh how my heart hurts for momma's whose children are dying because of dirty water. Maybe we should sell our home and downsize so we could give more. Maybe we should adopt again. Maybe we should look into foster care. Maybe we should propose a church partnership with a village in Ethiopia. Maybe we should...
I am trying to enjoy this peaceful valley. I am trying to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. (No, life is not perfect. My kids fight all. the. time. Especially when it is too cold to get any exercise. Although I am less involved than usual, work is still stressful. I see it all over my hubby.) I am waiting on God to speak. I am on a sabbatical of sorts until I receive my next orders. I am doing my best to be on guard, waiting in readiness, for Him to reveal His plan. Because I know there is so much more work to be done for His kingdom.
As I wait this song has become my anthem to Him.
I will follow You, in the big and in the small, to the best of my ability.
