Wonderfully Made

I have been thinking a lot lately about the fact that kids ask whatever is on their mind. They have no filter. They do not ask things to be mean or rude, they simply want to know.


The first time I had a surprising question from a kid about MY KID, is a story I have laughed at for the past 14+ years.


When Krissy was a baby she had very little hair, except for on the very top of her head. On the very top of her head she had soft reddish curls. They were adorable.

There she is at 7 mo. old.

One day I had her at the State Fair. We were sitting on the bleachers. I was watching a horse show. She was sleeping in my arms. A cute little guy, who was about three years old, came to sit by us. He was telling me all about himself. When he finally ran out of stories he asked me what my baby's name was. I told him that her name was Krissy. He had a surprised look on his face. He thought about it a minute and then he asked, "Isn't Krissy a girl's name?" I assured him that it was a girl's name, which was perfect because my baby was a girl. He looked even more confused at that point. He finally blurted out, "Well if your baby is a girl, why did you cut her hair so short like a boy's?"

I have laughed at that innocent story for years. I have been pondering it a bit lately because as Joshua's world becomes larger and we play with more and more kids, surprising questions often arise.

As we are all very aware, Joshua and I do not share eye color, hair color, or skin color.

The thing is Joshua has never made note of that fact. I have told him many times that I love his brown eyes and beautiful skin. I ooh and aah over his cutie curls. We talk about how God made him beautiful all the time. We also talk about how smart he is, how strong he is becoming, how big he is growing. We have books with characters of many colors. In most books he names the people in the pictures after his family and friends. Sometimes Joshua has black skin. sometimes not, but he is always a boy. Sometimes Brenna has black skin. Krissy is always the one with glasses irregardless of skin color, eye color, or hair color. Every dog is Riley. Drew is always smiling and doing something physical. Jamison is the biggest boy on the page. Mommy is the woman closest to Joshua. Although he does recognize differences in people, skin color is not on his radar. I have read that this is totally normal for a child his age.

Recently a little person asked me, "Why is Joshua's skin that color?"


I was not happy about that question. Not because I am ashamed of his skin or because the question caught me by surprise... I have always know it would come up. The question made me cringe because I was forced to answer it in front of Joshua before I answered it to Joshua. It was not the scene I had planned. In "my scene" Joshua would ask me or it would come up in direct conversation before skin color was a public conversation - but that was not to be. (All this passed through my mind, along with "Chill out! Kids ask questions all the time. How you handle this will determine whether or not it is a big issue or not." in the flash it took me to formulate words.)


I looked from Joshua to his friend and simply said,"Joshua's skin is that color because he was born in Ethiopia."


They both smiled and ran to play.


Later... more questions came.


I am grateful I was there to answer those questions. I am thankful Joshua did not have to try to explain on his own. I realize that soon he will be in preschool or Sunday school or at the park and these questions will resurface. Sooner or later he will be forced to answer them all by himself. My job is to provide the example of how to answer them or not answer them answer them. After all, not all questions need to be answered. My job is to help him decipher whether a surprising question is innocent as a little child's or aimed to hurt.


While I admit to feeling really under-qualified and super overwhelmed by all the questions that come our way these days, I remember that I discussed those very feelings with God before we ever decided to begin the adoption process. I remember telling him I would not be able to answer the questions. I reminded him that we do not live in a diverse area. I fretted that a child of another race than my own would struggle with confidence in our small community. I also remember God's response, "Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in Me."

I am reminded that the key to self-esteem is seeing ourselves through God's eyes not the eyes of the world. In moments of doubt I pray Joshua Gebeyehu (and all his older siblings) will be reminded by the words of this Psalm.

Psalm 139:1-18 (New International Version, ©2010)


1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Father God, please bless my children with confidence. May they always see themselves through Your eyes. Bless them with ears that hear Your voice, hearts that seeks Your will, and feet that follow You wherever You lead.