As we have been packing we have been trying to explain to Joshua what will happen. We will drive and drive and drive and stop to eat. Then we will drive and drive and drive and stop to sleep. I have told him about Uncle Reed, daddy's brother and his Auntie and cousins that we will visit. I also mentioned that mommy wanted to eat Ethiopian food on this trip.
Bad idea!
Joshua told me he would not be going to Ethiopia. Joshua will stay with mommy, daddy.. pleasie. Those words hurt my heart, can you imagine how much more the insecurities hurt his heart?
So I of course went overboard reassuring him, "No Joshua Ethiopia. Joshua stay with mommy, daddy, Krissy, Jamison, Sierra, and Brenna. Only eatie food like Ethiopia. Joshua stay with mommy. Joshua always stay with mommy." He snuggled in, sucked his thumb and considered my promises.
Later that day he say this picture.
It was the second photo we ever say of him. He pointed to it and said "Gebeyehu."I said, "Yes that is Joshua Gebeyehu."
He pointed to himself and said loud and near tears, "NO GEBEYEHU! JOSHUA!"
I asked him where is Gebeyehu?
He said, "Gebeyehu, Ethiopia. No (point to chest) Gebeyehu! Joshua! Gebeyehu naughty!"
What??? I am thinking? Joshua can not stand the idea of being naughty. Why is Gebeyehu naughty.
I told him, "No Gebeyehu naughty. I love Gebeyehu! I love Joshua! (point to his chest) Mommy, I love him Joshua Gebeyehu."
He gave me a big cuddle and after a time responded, "Joshua Gebeyehu?"
"YES!" I told him. "Joshua and Gebeyehu! Mommy I love him!"
He relaxed some. "Joshua Gebeyehu no Ethiopia? Stay with mommy?"
Big hugs! "Yes! Joshua Gebeyehu stay with mommy. Mommy Joshua together all the time. Mommy! Mommy no leave. Mommy love you!"
I am so thankful for these conversations, painful as they are. I am so thankful for the chances to reassure Joshua Gebeyehu of our love and of his secure place in our family. As I type he is cuddled up on my lap, head tucked under my chin, sucking his thump and humming.
I am thankful for every hug, every kiss, every giggle. I am thankful that his eyes shine with joy so often now, and his laugh comes from deep within.
We do continue to pray for his heart to fully heal. We call this song, "Joshua's song." He begs us to play it for him on the computer. I think you will love it as much as we do!
Have a super weekend. Next post will announce my blogiversary give-away winner! And by the way, I have been so touched by your comments. What a blessing to have such special friends. Love you all!
***Have to share quick... Joshua sat on my lap while I proofed this post. He pointed to the "Gebeyehu" picture and said, "Joshua Gebeyehu!" big smile too. I pointed to his chest and asked, "Who is this?" he responded with a squeal, "Joshua Gebeyehu too! Mommy I love you Joshua Gebeyehu!"
We all know the answer to that one!
