Me too.
And it is really PAINFUL!
I had something of that nature come up in my life this week, and it hurt! I was shocked by how much.
Yesterday, while still licking my wounds and praying about how to handle the situation God showed me this verse.
"But Jesus would not entrust himself to them,
for he knew men.
He did not need man's testimony about man,
for he knew what was in a man."
John 2:24-25
I give my kids this message all the time. They will come to me hurt because someone said something ugly and I will ask, "Is that true about you?" Usually the answer is a sniffley no. At that point I remind them that they need to concentrate on who they KNOW they are. They need to see themselves through God's eyes. They need to love themselves and others like He loves them. They need to ask Him what they should be working to improve. Then we pray together.
It is a lecture I have down pat. They do to. Yet, they always love to hear it. I never get an eye roll or an "oh mom!" They just curl up next to me and soak in the love that God wants to lavish on them. They find great reassurance in seeing themselves through His eyes.
I was so thankful when God reached out to me through His word yesterday to give me the very same lecture I give my kids. I was so relieved to be reminded that the only testimony that matters is His testimony about me. While it is true that I have many things to work on, I can and will entrust Him to teach me, guide me, correct me. I can let go of man's view of me and rest in His.
I wish I could tell you that I no longer care what was said about me, but in truth I am working on it. Once in a while I am shocked by my own immaturity and sensitivity. I keep thinking how 7th grade it was to be so hurt over a rumor. Isn't it funny how just when you think you are "past" something you find out you are NOT? Being reminded by God to entrust myself in Him not man, took the sting out. It put me back in a better frame of mind. But I still have to CHOOSE to cling to His view.
So, I choose to cling. I choose to entrust myself in Him. (I choose to repeat this chant until my heart and head agree!)
