One thing I have struggled with since I have really realized how lucky I am, how many conveniences I have, and how much money we have is balance. How much should I give, or in other words give up, so I can give more away?
Did you realize that almost half of the world's population, 2.1 billion people, live on less than $2 a day? Of these people, 880 million live on less than $1 per day.
Today I went to Walmart to buy groceries and stuff. I spent about $200.00. The groceries I bought will feed my family breakfast, snacks, and supper for about 7 days. I also bought Joshua a new shirt and one for me, some cleaning products, a few office supplies, a decorative candle, and some make-up. Pretty cheap by "our" standards.
But as I get home and put things away, I start to doubt my purchases. The clothes and the candle were certainly not necessary. Joshua and I would not have gone naked without them. A candle?! All it does is make my house smell pretty. Sure I enjoy that, but that $5 is more than many people in the world have to live on for the whole day.
This dilemma about balance is fresh in my mind because of a discussion my family had over the weekend. Sierra was thinking about what to get me for my birthday - it is not until December, but Sierra is a planner. (Plus she knows I LOVE my birthday!) Anyway she told me she wanted to get me a day at the spa for my birthday. I said I did not want a day at the spa, I wanted cash so I could sponsor another child. Chad did not like that idea. He said, very kindly and lovingly, that sometimes it is OK to just be spoiled.
I struggle with that because in so many ways I am totally spoiled every day. I have all the clean water I could ever want. I have lights and heat and air conditioning. I have a freezer full of meat and a pantry full of food. I have a dishwasher, a clothes washer, and a dryer. My life is EASY.
I also understand that it gives my family pleasure to spoil me. My goal is not to constantly be nagging everyone about how good we have it. My goal is not to be so focused on the plight of others that I can not enjoy my own life.
However I have seen malnourished children, and I am more haunted by the vacant, lifeless look in their eyes than in their tiny size. I watched women hunched over cutting the grass with shears or their bare hands. I have witnessed a young mother and her tiny baby silently begging outside my taxi window. I have seen women hunched over washing laundry by hand for hours. Those are powerful images.
I do not want to ignore the beauty and possibilities all around me, yet there is so much beauty in sacrificial giving as well...
Balance... it is hard. Have any thoughts for me?
