The picture above was taken the very first day Joshua and I were together (May 29, 2010). (Note to travelers, either turn off the date/time feature on your camera when traveling to Africa or change it. The dates on many of my pictures are not correct because of the huge time change.)Doesn't he look so little?
This is Joshua and I snuggling earlier today.
Snuggling is one of our very favorite things to do! It has been from day one. But it has evolved. At first Joshua was a love bug, but in a new/scary situation he would sit tall, eyes wide open, body tense. Slowly he has learned to trust me to take care of him and now in a new/scary situation he snuggles deep into my arms. Aaaahhhhh!
7 months together! The biggest change I have noticed is a feeling that we have made it to the top of the hill. Things have really begun to level off. Sleep is good! He is doing so much better in large groups! He is talking more and more comfortably about his past. We have figured out some solutions to make my working from home easier. (That has taken a lot of mental pressure off of me! I no longer feel any rush to push him into day care in order for me to do my job better. I do plan to send him to preschool 2 mornings a week next fall, but until then I will be officing from home quite happily!) Routine is important, but some deviations do not send him for a loop.
So while we are still careful and value/protect the close relationship we have formed with our son, it no longer feels like constant effort.
Some things we are working on include further bonding with Daddy. Joshua loves to play with Daddy but struggles to let Daddy snuggle too much, take him to the potty, or put him to bed. At the same time, he is much more apt to hug on a "strange" man than a strange woman. So guarding daddy time so daddy is the one to fill that need.
Mommy is working on leaving more. I like to be home, but I need to leave so that I give Daddy room to be the go-to parent. So I am trying to get out of here a couple times a week.
We still require Joshua to check-in at certain times. For example, he is supposed to ask us before he goes downstairs. He also needs to check-in before he goes outside with a sibling or leaves the room in a public place with anyone other than a parent.
This month he has started asking for "safe" people to hold him - like Grandma, Grammy, Aunties, Uncles, and close friends. That was a first. We had seriously not allowed anyone to hold him before that. And in all honesty, he had not asked if anyone appropriate could hold him earlier. Because he had asked me if inappropriate people could hold him, we waited for him to take the lead and ask for appropriate people to hold him. I was both excited and worried when he started asking to be held. Excited because I was pretty sure he "got it." Worried because I did not want to move even a half step backwards. But all has been smooth.
TOMORROW is a big day - we go to court to finalize Joshua Gebeyehu Chad D's adoption AND we celebrate Ethiopian Christmas with friends we have made throughout this adoption journey. What an amazing gift we will receive on our first Ethiopian Christmas with our son.
***Just in case you wondered why I call today 7 months when I picked Joshua up on May 29, June 6 was the day we arrived in the US and became a family united. While the time in Ethiopia was totally important, to me coming HOME signified the start of our journey in becoming a fully functioning family of 7.
