Some make them mad. Like, "Why do you call him your brother? He's not really." (This makes my kids IRATE! I have never, ever seem more devoted siblings. On Friday night when I brought Joshua to the clinic, Krissy (at 14!) and Brenna insisted on coming with because they were worried. What is more boring then the clinic on a Friday night?)
Some are too intrusive. Like, "So what happened to his real family?"
Some make them proud. Like, "How did you get so lucky? He is soooo cute!"
Some irritated them. Like, "Where does his mom live?"
We have brainstormed responses to questions that will most likely come up ahead of time. For example, "What happened in Joshua's Ethiopian family is his story to share when and if he chooses. However, we ARE A REAL family. (smile and try to be graceful =) )" Some we have chosen to ignore with an indulgent shrug. Some have caught us by surprise.
Last week when Joshua, Sierra, and I walked into Jamison's first basketball game we caught the eye of Jamison's team mates. Maybe it was because Joshua waved like crazy to his big brother? The only unoccupied seats were right below the his team (they were waiting for the first game to finish so they could take the court), so we were sitting close enough to eavesdrop on their not too subtle conversations. Jamison definitely was given the third degree! "Is that your brother?" "Where is he from?" "Did you adopt him?" "How old is he?" "When did you get him?" It was the final question that caught me by surprise, "How much did he cost?"
Yes, I have read blog posts about rude people in the grocery store making snide comments like, "You have really cute kids. How much did you pay for them?" But I never thought to help my kids answer that question.
Jamison handled it well. He gave his buddy a weird glance and shrugged his shoulders, like who knows and who cares.
I was telling Chad about all I had overheard and he had the most wonderful response.
He said,"Anytime someone has asks me about the cost of adoption I tell them that our son's adoption was a bargain. He is worth so much more than we "paid" in legal fees and travel expenses. Joshua is priceless."
PRICELESS!***I fully realize that adoption is expensive. In fact, according to the Dave Thomas Foundation, 40% of Americans consider adoption but most do not follow through. The number one reason is FINANCES! If you ever want to discuss how to come up with the funds necessary to complete an adoption or if you want to know about the financial costs because you are interested in adopting, please feel free to ask! I welcome ANY question from a prospective adoptive family. (It is the questions that are just asked out of rudeness and idle curiosity that bug me!)
Did you know that there are between 40 and 50 million children who are adoptable orphans in the world? (Yes, there are about 147 million orphans total, but many live places where adoption is not an option. However child sponsorships are in most cases. Hint, hint!) If 6% to 7% of Christians in the world would follow through with God's call to adopt every single one of these children would have a family. If God is calling you to adopt, do not let finances be your excuse. There are many options available from grants to garage sales. Also remember there are very few costs associated with adoptions from the American foster care system. If God has a plan, he can and will provide every penny necessary to complete that plan. It may not be easy. It may not be "in your comfort zone." But have no doubt, HE WILL PROVIDE!
"Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you (and the child He has called you to find) much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:25,26
(Not sure why that was the scripture whispered to my heart as I thought through all this, maybe it was a message just for you?)
