Last Monday, I truly expected some kind of update from Ethiopia. If you recall, we did not pass court at our second appointment on April 14. We were told that we would have to wait for more information until the MOWA office opened Monday the 19th. I was really proud of the way I handled the wait from Wednesday until Monday. BUT by Monday I was truly on pins and needles. I was ready for a call! My cell phone was my best friend, it was never more that an arms length away. I thought I had prepared myself for anything... good news or bad. What I had NOT prepared myself for was silence! I love silence, but the silence last Monday was deafening and defeating! I sent poor Liz an SOS email at about the time her office was closing begging her to reassure me that this was all going to work out. She patiently and gently replied that she had heard nothing from Ethiopia all day, the internet must be down or the power out or both. She promised (for probably thew 4th time) that she would call me as soon as she heard ANYTHING!
By Tuesday, I was fidgety - full of nervous energy - and completely unable to concentrate. I spent the morning wandering around Target. I bought Joshua Gebeyehu a couple outfits, a matchbox car that looks like Mommy's Expedition and one that looks like Daddy's Jeep, a big glittery bouncy ball, and a stuffed Golden Retriever. I bought Krissy a journal for the trip with the title "What the World Needs Now Is Shoes, Sweet Shoes." I arrived at our office very late. Chad laughed at me! He took one look at me and knew any kind of bookkeeping I would attempt would be messed up, so he took me out for lunch. I remember telling him I was sorry that the waiting was driving me crazy, it was even driving me crazy that it was driving me crazy!
After lunch I went to pray with some good friends at our church. (We do this every Tuesday.) There were only three of us able to attend, but we were each waiting for important news. We concentrated on the verse "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12. It helped to share my frustration with them. It helped to know that God realizes that hope deferred - all these delays - were making my heart sick. But I was still restless, frustrated, and distracted.
So I headed out to my favorite running trail. Running is where my brain rests. If I will find solace anywhere, it will be on the running trail. I had not gone far when I swear to you I heard God ask me, "Can you praise Me now?" I almost laughed out loud! Praise Him when my mind was spinning so fast I could not even concentrate on my problems? Praise Him when I had no answers? Seriously? (I bet you know the answer to that.) "Seriously." My mind went totally blank for a while all I concentrated on was breathing and the sound of my feet hitting the asphalt.
Slowly the oldest words of praise I know were whispered from some corner of my soul. It was the Doxology. The hymn that ended the church service at my Grandma's church when I was a child. In that moment I could hear my beautiful Grandma, my Great Grandma, and my Dad singing all around me. It was so beautiful, so filled with so many memories. Memories of generations of faithfulness, both on the part of my amazing elders and even more so on the part of my Father in Heaven.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above the heavenly hosts.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen.
This doxology played over and over in my mind and it slowly took over my heart. It became a huge, wholehearted song of praise. It was awesome! I was able to sing praises from the deep of my soul (don't worry kids, momma was not singing at the top of her lungs as she ran! more like from the depths of my heart) the whole 3.5 miles I ran. Real praises, whole-hearted praises to the God who had sustained me. Who was continuing to sustain me. Who had given me peace and assurance throughout the looooong winter. Who granted my heart's cry for joy only 2 days earlier. Who knew me inside and out and still loved me.
By the end of that run my heart was light. I had totally surrendered it all. I had praised Him in the the storm, in the trenches, in the midst of my waiting and wondering. And He had renewed my soul.
I went back to my office with a quiet heart and a smile on my face. I was not fidgety, but calm and completely at peace.
And then my cell phone rang... it was the call I had been waiting for and the news was wonderful.
There you have it, the rest of the story! To God be the glory, great things He has done.
