If a picture says 1000 words, than read no more as this picture tells all about Joshua's biggest accomplishment this month!
Saturday morning, I was finishing up some cooking and Joshua wanted to snuggle... NOW! He had his little arms wrapped around my leg, his face buried into my thigh, and was begging for me to snuggle on the couch. Daddy walked into the kitchen and offered to hear to the couch with Joshua. To our shock and awe, Joshua pulled away from my leg and jumped into his daddy's arms!They headed to the couch and sat side by side for a time. Daddy was sipping coffee with an arm around Joshua's shoulders. Joshua was watching Barney. Then I heard words that still make me smile! Joshua said, "Daddy, hold you Joshua two hands!" So daddy put down his coffee and scooped up his boy. They cuddled in close AND Joshua even sucked on his thumb!
It was precious! It was priceless! It was hard-fought by a patient and persevering daddy! (I am so proud of both my guys. It was hard for Joshua to let his guard down for daddy. And sweet daddy had to be so diligent. It is not easy to be held at arm's length by one you love so much. It is no fun to play second fiddle. It takes much grace and confidence to keep offering, keep asking - while risking being turned down and pushed away. I am so thankful to the gift of love daddy extended to his boy.)
So.... emotional growth continues!
Joshua is able to be more and more independent while remaining connected. At one point when he did things by himself it was to prove he did not need us. Now when he does things by himself, he insists that we watch, encourage, and congratulate him. He keeps connected! (This may sound like no big deal, but it is huge!)
Some examples... When Joshua first came home if he would go potty by himself, he would look at me and say, "No need mommy!" This was not the same kind of "no need mommy" that a proud toddler uses. This "no need mommy" came from a little guy that was trying hard to take care of everything by himself because counting on someone for help was too risky, too painful, too scary. After Joshua started to begin to enjoy having a mommy, going potty by himself was impossible! These last few weeks, he will go to the bathroom by himself - but insists that mommy watch. He is delighted by his ability AND wants to share his delight with me!
Another example... Over the weekend Joshua totally fell for his cousin Courtenay. She is special because she made his favorite blanket. Joshua spent every second he could this weekend charming her and seeking her attention. However he was able to keep eye contact with me all the time. He visually checked in me with me all the time. He came to me when he was sad because someone else was sitting by "his Courtenay." He did not push me away when I would check on him as he played with Courtenay. All HUGE gains!
He also has become quite confident and comfortable with people that the rest of his family is obviously familiar with. This weekend he totally enjoyed our extended family although he has not spent very much time with them. He did not enjoy or interact with the members of my grandparent's church much at all. He is learning to trust us and take cues from us as to who is safe and familiar and who is not.
He is also able to reconnect with mommy on a "baby" level after pushing himself long and hard to be big! We have spent A LOT of time rocking and snuggling these last two days (at Joshua's request)! He was a big, brave boy all weekend. This week he has needed to refuel with lots of snuggle time and he knows it and asks for it! "Mommy baby crying hold you!" or "Joshua tiny baby, mommy hold you baby!" are cues that he needs to refuel. While there are moments where I am tempted to tell him that he needs to be a big boy, I see how much his "baby time" has given him the gas to BE a more secure, confident son. Those baby moments are priceless gifts of connection we both need!
