Look who has pictures if HIS family hanging above his bed?
All right, I confess... this picture made me cry happy, sad, frustrated, glad, joyful tears. Can you believe the world we live in... this picture was taken today! I know what my Joshua Gebeyehu's was wearing today! I know that today he was waving for the camera and being told about his family.
I also know that today he clung to another mom's 14 year old daughter like glue and announced that he was ready to leave now. This mom emailed me that he is definitely very ready to meet us. He is, in her words, "a love-bug" and a "punkin." He is also potty training, not a fan of the nap, and understands what the nannies tell him very clearly - even though he does not like a lot of it. (That made me laugh out loud!)
Hearing he is as ready for us as we are for him is a mixed blessing. I am glad that he has some understanding that our family is coming for him. I am thrilled that he is able to look at our faces. I am happy that he is looking for us and waiting in readiness (at least today! He is 2 and maybe the day we arrive he will decide he is not ready, but that is what being 2 is all about!)
Hearing he is ready also made me broke my heart. For a long while I was peaceful waiting, I felt in my soul that he was where he needed to be. I can not believe the changes we see in him - in January he was gaining his strength, walking was hard, he was very babyish, he looked so sad. Now he seems to be "Mr. Personality", he is potty training, sleeping with the big kids, his eyes twinkle, he is READY.
I found myself begging Jesus to get me there, to grant the desire of my and my son's heart. I know in a way that is silly, faithless even. We have miraculously passed court. We have an adoption decree, the rest of the paperwork is in process, leaving May 28 seems to be a sure thing. I know leaving in 25 days is soon, but it feels like forever, and I fear further delays. I want precise answers and guarantees, but they have not come yet. I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning to receive the most amazing gift - a really little child that knows the gift will be amazing but does not understand time enough to realize when the gift will come. "How many more sleeps, God?"
Eventually God broke through my whining with words of reassurance:
"There is a time for everything"
Ecc 3:1
and the verse which He continues to remind me of over and over:
"Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion"
Philippians 1:6
I also have enough experience as a parent to realize that really soon I will be wishing for a quiet moment. I will not laugh out loud at Joshua Gebeyehu "not liking" what I have to say. I will be frustrated when he refuses to nap. But, I can hardly wait for that day! I can hardly wait to be busy parenting instead of patiently waiting!
Brenna is really excited about the Skillet concert her daddy is taking her to soon. Her prayer request each night before bed is that God will make the time go really fast so she does not have to wait so long. Will you echo her prayer for my son and I?
