Mourning Gebeyehu's Ethiopian Mommy

I have had a hard mom week. It started Sunday when the meal I had worked hard to choose and prepare for my family was NOT a hit. For some reason their less than enthusiastic reaction to my efforts really hurt my feelings. I began feeling really unappreciated and overlooked. I had a list going of all the things that they did not notice or appreciate - I worked hard to wash and fold their clothes, they complained because they had to put them away - I made supper every night, they often complained about my meal choice and then went to watch TV while I cleaned the kitchen - you get the drift!





Wednesday night Chad and I went to the midweek worship service at our church. The service was devoted to mothers and the value of mothering. It did not go well for me. In fact I totally lost it. My poor husband was sitting next to me watching me cry my eyes out and wondering what was going on in my mind.



To be honest the sadness began as "poor me." Poor me my family does not appreciate all that I do for them. That thought brought on a few more tears as my thoughts turned to the fact that this will be the first Mother's Day that I will not be with all my kids.



And then the FLOOD began as I realized that Gebeyehu's Ethiopian mommy will never spend another day with him. I seriously cried my eyes out (emphasis on the tears because I am not a crier, this was alarmingly out of character!) for her loss. She will never know how much we adore her son. The last months have been so hard not being able to mother Joshua Gebeyehu like I want to, however I have still received much joy in seeing him grow and change through pictures and stories. She will never know those joys. The pain, fear, and desperation I imagined her feeling as she was wondering who would care for her son was acute. I can not imagine having to say good-bye to one of my kids. Even if I were to be separated from my family by death, I would never wonder how/if they would be cared for, nurtured, mentored and loved. I am so blessed.


I cried tears of gratitude for my blessings while at the same time mourning for Gebeyehu's Ethiopian mother's loss. The unfairness of it all broke my heart. I am so blessed with family, worldly possessions, great health care, God's love. Even the fact that I am an American gives me so many advantages. I do not even know how to deal with all these emotions - they just swirl around. I do not know how to reconcile the fact that I am so blessed, gaining so much, while another has lost it all.




The service ended with the song "Blessed Be The Name of the Lord" it's chorus goes like this:

Blessed be the name of the Lord,

Blessed be Your name Jesus,

You give and take away,

You give and take away,

My heart will choose to say,

Lord blessed be Your name.

Those were and are hard words. Why did He choose to take Gebeyehu's Ethiopian Mother away? Why did He choose to give me this amazing gift? I do not know. I will most likely never know. But my heart DOES choose to say "Lord Blessed By Your Name!" I do not know why sad, hard, difficult things take place sometimes, and I stand in awe that God can turn sadness into joy.

Thank you Jesus for my many blessings. Thank you for choosing me to be the mother of each of my fabulous five children. Help me to raise them in a way that is pleasing to you. Help me to always remember what a privileged life I lead. Help me to honor You in all I do Lord. Blessed be Your name.