It was a long day. Some days just are. Joshua woke up at 5:30... for the day. You would think that being awake so early would cause me to be ready for the day earlier. On the contrary, I tend to lay next to Joshua pretending to be asleep, while hoping he will fall asleep so I can shower in peace. Not today.
So he and I scooted into the bathroom with a bucket of toys around 6:15. Chad had gotten up at 3 AM the morning before to move snow, so he was still asleep. About half way through my shower Joshua announces he has to go kaka (poop). When I drag my wet self out of the shower to help him, he comes up with a better plan than having a dripping mommy help him out of his pull-up and onto the toilet... he will go find his step stool and help himself. So he proceeds to open the door of our master bath flooding the face of his sleeping daddy with bright light. It was not a popular move.
Eventually we get the kaka situation under control, mommy out of the shower, everyone fed, everyone dressed, and everyone big enough to school.
Then after a brief stop at my office, Joshua and I head to the doctor's office. Joshua was a little bit concerned about riding on the "alligator" until he saw it and realized there really is such a thing as an "elevator." (One of his older siblings used to call elevators alligators as well. Must be the way I say it?)
This appointment was so different (from the first) right from the start. First of all he has so much more trust for me now and he has obviously been exposed to so much more as well. Last week we bought a doctor kit and we have been practicing having a check-up all week. He knew what to expect. He understood what was asked of him. The scale and being measured was no problem. At his first appointment having his temperature taken was seriously traumatic. This time he did not bat an eye.
He played patiently while the doctor and I visited. Finally he asked the doctor if he was going to listen to his chest. Thus the exam began and went perfectly.
At that point the doctor asked me if I was ready to start some immunizations or if I wanted to schedule another visit? (I love our doctor. I had explained politely but firmly before Joshua came home that unless there were important medical reasons to change my mind, I did not want to do any painful procedures until I felt our son was ready. He totally agreed and has backed me up 100%.) No one ever wants to say it will be OK to start immunizations, but it was also time. So I agreed.
Our doctor explained that he wanted to immunize Joshua like he would an American child who was 3 and had for whatever reason not been previously immunized. He said there are a few families that choose not to immunize their kids until they are 2 or older for a variety of reasons. His immunization plan for older kids is not the same as for infants. He said older immune systems do not need all the boosters that an infant's does. Joshua's shot record will never be "complete" but the doctor said he will supply an explanation to schools as to why and that Joshua will be adequately immunized given his specific circumstances. (OK that is my simplification of a much longer conversation.)
So what our doctor recommended was that we give Joshua 3 shots today. Prevnar 13, Pentacel (HIB, IPV, DTaP), and the MMV/Varicella(chicken pox) combo. He also received the flumist. The wonderful news is that Joshua will not need shots again until he is 5. WOW!!! (We may choose to do Hep before then. It is one he should have, but the doctor thought unnecessary with this first batch.)
So we explained to Joshua that he would have shots and why. He understood shots because he had watched me have one a little while ago. He was not impressed.
It really hit home when I started to undress him. I had to pretty much claw him out of his clothes. He started to cry as soon as the nurses came in. When they instructed me to lay him on the table, he lost it. "No momma put you down. Mommy hold you Joshua."
So I peeled him off of me and held his one arm under me as I pressed my cheek to him. He fought. I am thankful he is a fighter... we have needed him to have a fighting spirit, but this was not a fight he could win. I held him down for what seemed like forever but was in reality 2 minutes or less. They sent 3 nurses in the room and did the 1,2,3 poke all three shots in at the same time. When he finally realized mommy was not going to save him he screamed with all his might for "Daddy!"
I have never had much tolerance for the pain of our kids, but I have no tolerance for the physical or emotional pain of Joshua Gebeyehu. I think this stems from knowing I do not know his whole story. There have been things that I can tell spark some type of dark, scary memory - but I will never know the memory. I am still learning how much he can handle and he has had to handle so much without me that I just want to protect him from all unpleasantness now that I can. (Yes, I know that life is full of "unpleasants" and it can not nor should it be totally avoided - like shots. But it is really hard for me to swallow his pain.)
Anyway, by the time I was able to scoop his whole little self up he had "redlined." I have never heard this combination of mad, pain, and sad cry before. I held him and whispered to him for at least 20 min. before he had settled enough for me to try and dress him. He sniffled through the clinic and when the winter air hit him he began to wail again. He wanted to get to daddy... NOW!
So I buckle him into his seat and as I an trying to wiggle my very large SUV out of a tight parking spot a little car sneaks up behind me trying to sneak into the spot I am not totally out of and we crunch. Yes - seriously! So 45 minutes later we are done visiting with a very nice police man and finally on our way to see daddy. The ONLY good thing about this fender bender is that Joshua was very happy to see the policie car. It made him almost totally forget about the shots.
By the time we picked the kids up from school, Joshua was telling everyone. "Joshua doctor. Joshua shots. Joshua cry. Mommy hold you. Shots naughty. Shots GARBAGE! Garage Garbage!" The "garage garbage" made me laugh out loud. It translates to he hates shots so much they need to not just be thrown in the garbage but then hauled to the garage so the garbage truck will take them away.
He was pooped by 7 and asked to lay on mommy's bed and 'nuggle. Then he told me, "Joshua hurting." So we gave him another dose of motrin and got him into bed.
Alright anyone who is still with me at this point, here is the good news. Joshua has gained 5 lbs and grown 1.75 inches since he has been home. He is in the 59% for height and 81% for weight. Our doctor declares him perfectly, totally healthy. He has had absolutely NO medical issues, not even parasites. That should not surprise any of us since one of my very first prayer request for Joshua Gebeyehu involved his health. God was without a doubt watching over our son.
Our doctor agreed with me that Joshua's language development is age appropriate. He also agrees that although there are still some large and small motor delays experience will solve those. He does not recommend professional therapies of any kind at this point, just a lot of mommy therapy.
Thank you, thank you for praying for Joshua. God has honored and answered out prayers. I am sincerely grateful.
